Our family had a serious health scare recently. We’re not completely out of the woods yet, but prospects are good. My prayer during this time has been pretty basic: “Help! Please help!”
“The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis deals with anxiety like mine. Lewis points out that when God asks us to submit patiently to his will, he means today’s cross, not all the possible future crosses. The cross I was carrying was not the loss of a loved one, it was the fear of loss, and God was ready to help me deal with that fear on a daily, even hourly, basis.
Lewis also said that often, when we pray, we try to manufacture feelings to go with our request. For example, we ask for courage and try to feel brave. Feelings, though, are unreliable. I didn’t feel like I was freed from anxiety, but, in fact, I was calmer. I was able to sleep. I was even able to pray for needs beyond my own.
Corrie ten Boom also talks about anxiety in her book “The Hiding Place.” Corrie was a little girl when she saw her first dead body. Afterward, she began to weep out of fear that her beloved father would also die. Her father asked her, “Corrie, when we take the train, when do I give you your ticket?” Corrie answered, “Right before we board.” Her father assured her that the same was true with God’s grace. When her father died, God would give Corrie the strength she needed to bear it.
Scripture offers several helpful examples of how men and women of faith have handled fear. The best, of course, is Jesus in the garden at Gethsemane. Christ was without sin, so if he was scared, fear must not be a sin. I don’t need to feel guilty about it or strive to overcome it through my own efforts. Jesus’ example shows us what to do with fear — bring it to God in prayer and keep on praying. God will answer.
Another major source of comfort for me was Christ’s church. I asked every Christian I knew for prayers. (If I didn’t call you, it’s only because I don’t have your number!) I could feel myself relax as friend after friend answered, “Of course I’ll pray.” Our family didn’t have to rely on my holiness or prayer skills; we had a whole army lifting us up.
Beyond the people I specifically asked for prayers is a larger group of Christians who pray in general terms each day for the sick and suffering. I asked God to apply some of those prayers to my situation. Seeing their value, I vowed that I would offer such prayers more often in the future.
Age has also helped me. God and I have been through a lot in 70 years. I can look back and see scores of scary moments and recall the grace that got me through them. That makes it easier to believe that he is with me in today’s trial. It also inspires me to pray more fervently that our young people will remain true to the faith. I believe that God hears everyone’s prayers. However, when a crisis occurs, as it inevitably will, those outside the church may find it harder to reach out to God or to recognize the help he offers in times of trouble.
Experience has also taught me that today’s calm won’t last. I know more crises will arise and, with them, more anxiety. I also know God will always answer me, no matter how often or how fearfully I cry out, “Help!”
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
