Recently, Prince William’s wife Katherine was heading toward a helicopter. Rotor backwash lifted her skirt, and she did not appear to be wearing underpants. Some commentators thought Katherine’s lack of lingerie showed poor judgment. Most, though, criticized the photographer and the publisher of the resulting picture. A few echoed Kathie Lee Gifford’s remark, “If I had a butt like that, I’d pray for wind.”
I was distressed, though. Our daughters and granddaughters take their fashion cues from the mass media. I’m sadly accustomed to celebrities exposing far more than we need to see. I had hoped Kate would set a better example.
I know the party line. It’s the 21st century, and a woman should be able to wear whatever she wants without sexual harassment. However, revealing clothing focuses attention on our bodies, rather than the mind, skills and character women want men to appreciate.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2521-2524) mentions fashion when discussing modesty. Modesty is part of chastity — that is, celibacy for singles, fidelity for married couples. “Modesty protects the intimate center of the person … It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them. … Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. … It inspires one’s choice of clothing. … [and] makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies. The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man. … Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.”
Practicing modesty isn’t easy. Women want to appear attractive, just as men want to appear strong and competent. It’s in our DNA. However, there’s a big difference between dressing attractively and dressing provocatively. We must ask ourselves, “How do I want people to see me — pretty or hot?”
Pop culture, of course, answers, “Hot!” However, advertisers and movie directors are hardly the best guides to moral behavior. Entertainers may feel obliged to flaunt their assets. We hope our daughters and granddaughters make more wholesome clothing choices.
What we wear affects how we feel. That’s one reason Catholic schools have required uniforms. Conservative attire produces conservative behavior. Dressing sexy makes us feel sexy. And then what?
With the right person at the right time, feeling desirable rings the starting bell. “Let the games begin!” In those moments, we share parts of ourselves we’ve saved for just one person. How intimate or enticing is it to reveal what so many others have also seen? There’s only one man we should want to arouse. It’s unkind and unwise to tease other men with tight, short, low cut or peek-a-boo clothing.
Our dress, our language and our walk are all communicating all the time. Skimpy outfits say either “I’m a tramp” or “I get a charge out of dressing like a tramp.” Neither sounds like a message a committed Christian woman should send. Tucking bra straps out of sight, sitting with our legs together, and using clean language are also part of feminine modesty. And, guys, sagging pants that expose your underwear or rear cleavage are not modest — or attractive.
Of course, clothing manufacturers are not exactly on our side. We women may have to resort to layers or muumuus to be both pretty and modest. It will take some effort to assemble a wardrobe appropriate for work, church and a night out. Still, who knows? If enough of us demand clothes that are both feminine and ladylike, we might start our own fashion trend. Meanwhile, let’s encourage the use of underwear.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
