Courtesy Father Anthony Pangan
Born: Manila; 1967
Community: Diocesan (formerly with the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament)
Celebrating: 25 years, ordination
Years of service in Hawaii: Seven (2006-07, 2019-present)
Past ministries: Associate priest/treasurer and community superior, Holy Family Parish, Tabaco City, Philippines; parochial vicar/treasurer, Assumption Parish, Davao City, Philippines; chaplain, De La Salle University, Manila; parochial vicar and assistant community superior, Star of the Sea Church, Honolulu; pastor, St. Agatha Pastoral Zone, Shellbrook, Saskatchewan, Canada; pastor, Holy Family Pastoral Zone, Radville, Saskatchewan; pastor, Holy Family Parish, Regina, Saskatchewan; associate pastor, Sacred Heart Church, Honolulu; associate pastor, Cathedral Basilica of Our Lady of Peace, downtown Honolulu; administrator, Annunciation Church, Kamuela, Hawaii island
Present ministry: Pastor, St. Anthony of Padua Church, Kailua
Reflection: When God ordains, he sustains.
Oct. 23, Jubilee Year 2000 — 25 years ago — I walked down the center aisle of Santa Cruz Church in Manila to be ordained by His Eminence, the late Cardinal Jaime Sin. It was the day I had long awaited, together with my family and loved ones. The church was packed, the air alive with celebration and joy. And yet, beneath all the euphoria, I carried within me a quiet sense of fear, apprehension and awe.
The theme of that Jubilee Year was “Christus Heri, Hodie, Semper” — “Christ Yesterday, Today, Always.” I was now married to Christ. This was no ordinary commitment, it wasn’t just a game, a title or a role; it was a life — in fact, a new life, a lifelong calling.
After the joyful celebration, a big fellowship followed in the church basement, followed by a festive dinner with family and close friends. When I got home that night, I was still on cloud nine.
The next morning, I woke up and rushed downstairs to greet everybody. Then, I started teasing my youngest brother, Arnold. When breakfast was ready, everybody at the table smiled at me. I was waiting for my mom who always does it, to lead the blessing when she suddenly motioned her hand to me. That’s when it hit me: Oh yeah, I’m now a priest!
This is something I always have to remind myself of each day. It is not easy, but it is worth it. It does not work like magic for me to be always one, but it sure helps as a reminder and a daily challenge in bearing witness to Christ.
As for the joys and highlights of my priestly ministry, I’m reminded of the saying: “Life is ironic to be fully understood, as it takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, absence to value presence and a cross to get to paradise.”
Indeed, my priestly journey has been characterized by life’s ironies.
It took the darkness brought about by the death of my father that I found light for me to go back to the seminary. Once back in the seminary, I needed to break from my former ways of life so as to be made whole in Christ.
Years passed and I completed the seminary program. I was ordained to give life, but death is an integral part of it. In fact, though death is inevitable, for us to appreciate life, we must also understand death.
And it is to this ongoing constant process of life and death, learning and unlearning, formation and deformation that I am constantly called to, to respond to every situation in order to bring Christ to those who hunger and thirst for his presence by allowing him to increase as I decrease in myself — to be bread broken and shared.
When God ordains, he sustains.
Someone once asked me, “What’s the hardest part of being a priest?” There are many ways I could answer.
The work is demanding. Once I step out of the rectory, the vast majority of my day is spent in ministry. And even when I return, rest is rarely immediate. There’s still more to do that demands creativity, planning, organizing, reflecting, preparing.
There are times I feel lonely, especially being far from my family — whether here in Hawaii, or back when I was in Canada, or even in the Philippines. I see them only for a few weeks each year.
And there are moments of disillusionment — when I see few people truly interested in church, in service, in God; and so many, many more.
But through it all, one thing remains constant: I couldn’t have come this far — or continue on — without the support of people whose hearts belong to Christ and his church.
Every difficulty or disappointment is eased by the kind words, the thoughtful gestures, the prayers and the witness of those who live lives of quiet, faithful service. But most of all, in the silence of celibacy — when I am alone and feel the absence of loved ones — it is then that I search even more deeply and encounter the abiding presence of the One who walks with me.
Always remember: When God ordains, he sustains.
Despite the stress and challenges, pastoral ministry is deeply rewarding. The joy of helping someone in need is tremendous.
The happiness of holding a newborn infant as they are baptized into the community of faith; the love that is celebrated between man and woman in the sacrament of matrimony; the humility one feels when someone so trusts you, to confess their sin through you to God, and receive his forgiveness; the privilege of being the tool by which Jesus himself comes to be really with us, in the holy Eucharist; the tender privilege of being present at the ending of life, to comfort the dying and those left behind — these are sacred moments that sustain me.
At the end of the day, no matter how much priests — or people — try to dress it up, the priesthood is like every other part of life: It comes with both joys and struggles. It takes both to live in reality — anything less than that is simply a fantasy.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please keep me, all the ordained, professed religious, and seminarians in your prayers.
If you know someone who feels drawn to this kind of life, encourage them — don’t dissuade or discourage them. Priesthood is not something to be ashamed of; it is a vibrant and deeply challenging vocation, just as demanding — if not more so — than any other profession.
We all recognize the great and pressing need for dedicated shepherds in our world today. Let us respond with faith, generosity and hope.
When God ordains, he sustains.
