By Lani Wong
Special to the Herald
My life started in San Pedro, California, where I was born and baptized at Mary Star of the Sea Church. I attended first through third grade at Mary Star of the Sea School and received my first holy Communion at the same location.
I grew up with and still have a close-knit family: Dad and Mom (rest in peace) and three sisters.
My sisters and I were raised in the Catholic faith and attended Mass and catechism regularly. I was confirmed at Mary Star of the Sea Church in Oxnard, California, in junior high.
I guess you can say I am a “cradle Catholic.” Growing up Catholic is a blessing and has stuck with me through thick and thin.
I always wanted to get married and have a family of my own, like the one I grew up in. When I was 30 years old and living in Thousand Oaks, California, my prayers were answered and God brought Derek Wong, who was a non-Catholic and had no denomination, into my life.
We dated for three months and were engaged with full approval from Dad and Mom.
We contacted the local Catholic church and were told that before we could even entertain securing a wedding date, Derek would need to get his prior marriage annulled.
I felt, “why me?” I knew he had a prior marriage, that I was in good standing with the church and that annulments took forever.
As a result, despite my upbringing, I felt rejected and turned away from the Catholic Church. We had a Christian wedding and subsequently two children, Robert and Kela.
Although we were not married in the Catholic Church, I wanted to have the kids baptized Catholic — it’s what my parents did.
We were allowed to have our babies baptized Catholic as long as we and their respective godparents promised to raise the children in the Catholic faith. So, being the one with the Catholic upbringing, I did.
I would take the kids with me to church on Sundays as much as I could, enrolled them in catechism and always prayed that Derek would come to church with us. I believe the Holy Spirit was always there guiding me despite feeling sorry for myself and turning away from the church.
Fast-forward to 2017, and Derek was experiencing some health concerns. God answered my prayers and Derek began coming to Mass with me on Sundays.
Soon after, I shared that he could learn more about the Catholic faith through adult religious education. During this time our pastor, Father Khanh Hoang, provided guidance and Derek’s prior marriage was annulled. Derek received his sacraments of initiation, our marriage was evaluated and we received the sacrament of marriage.
Prayer is powerful: God again answered my prayer and my husband’s health concerns are under control.
God answered my prayers twofold: I asked him to guide Derek to go to church with his family for the sake of our kids. Instead, God guided us to the diaconate.
We went to the inquiry weekend, registered in 2018, and together, we answered the call. Derek was ordained in January 2024 and I am the wife of a deacon.
While we were in diaconate formation, I retired in 2021 from working in the utility industry. God has a plan for everyone. We are his instruments.
As I continue to share my spiritual journey, I am called to serve others who may have questions, need guidance or want help with the annulment process or marriage validation and receiving the sacrament of marriage.
I am passionate about this ministry and I believe my previous work and personal experience can help others.
Being a deacon’s wife is not how many ministries or councils you can participate in; it is about being a supportive partner as he fulfills his ministry, teamwork and communication, while balancing and upholding family and home, and also continuing to embrace my personal faith.
Deep down, I really never turned away from my deep-rooted Catholic upbringing. I continued to pray and chat with God and he answered. Perseverance in prayer is key. Trust in God’s guidance and embrace the journey with an open heart.
