Deacon William Friese
I AM A DEACON
I’m a deacon. Who would ever have thought that would happen?! Well, it did, just five short years ago.
This wasn’t something I ever planned to do. I had already retired twice, first from the Air Force in 2003, and again from federal civil service in 2014. I always figured that when I retired, my wife and I would be stable enough to “give something back to the church,” but along the lines of donating to the bishop’s campaign, not this!
The Lord didn’t want me! I was certain and comfortable with that notion. I mean, I never even served as an altar boy since Father Carroll dropped me from the program like a hot potato when I flunked the Confiteor in Latin and relegated me to the choir.
So I went on with life, being a pretty good — though somewhat on-again-off-again — Catholic from high school through my young adult years. Fast forward, and we are in 2009. I say “we” because this “deacon thing” is a two-for-one deal in most cases. Our wonderful wives are absolutely included in this.
Looking back, I have to admit that this was a low point in life for me. I was very disappointed with a lot of things, and as it turns out, I was especially vulnerable. That’s when this nagging thought came into my head and wouldn’t go away. It was like that thing in the movies sitting on your shoulder, prodding and poking. Except this wasn’t a devil, it was an angel.
So, I spoke with my wife about looking into the diaconate. As wonderful as she is, all she told me was, “You go ahead and check it out.” We submitted our application and ended up accepted. That began our five-year discernment and formation process in 2010. And what a process it was!
Not only did it involve a lot of academics, but a lot of other issues. I had to retrain my thinking in many ways. Not only things like Biblical history or Christology, but personal growth, spirituality and prayer.
We also served in several ministries throughout our formation, including Catholic Charities, hospice/hospital and prison ministry. The latter two were probably the most challenging.
I also had to learn to rethink my approach to life. As a senior military officer, I was used to “being in command” and “taking charge.” But I soon discovered that’s not how being a deacon works. When I was still going through our screening process, which includes a psychological evaluation, the psychologist picked up on that exact point. He asked, “So, you’re used to being in charge. Can you handle this new lifestyle?” I honestly hadn’t thought about it that way, but cited the Roman centurion’s conversation with the Lord, noting that we all have authorities above us.
One of our wise instructors also challenged me on this point. Being military, I wanted to have a plan and a back-up plan entering the hospice rooms. I wanted to know all the answers before I even went in. I was going to be the best darned chaplain they had! I learned through much trial and error that I had it all wrong. I needed to let go of my plans and be open to God’s. I had to learn simply to serve as an instrument. “He must increase; I must decrease,” as St. John the Baptist said.
So, after much learning and soul searching, I was honored to be ordained in the diocese’s seventh class of permanent deacons in January 2015. What a truly beautiful moment in my life! Right up there with getting married to my wonderful wife.
I remember my one-on-one counseling interview with Bishop Larry Silva just prior to our ordination, in which he asked me “Are you ready?” I nervously responded that while I felt “well-prepared,” I certainly wasn’t ready. I was comfortable with the academics and rubrics of the liturgies and sacraments but not yet comfortable with what a deacon becomes because it’s a true and whole-hearted lifestyle change.
And because of all that, I selected a very poignant prayer from St. Teresa of Avila for my ordination prayer card to always remind myself of what this “deacon thing” is all about.
“Christ has no body now but yours. No hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks with compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands through which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”
I’m a Deacon! May the Lord continue to bless us all!
Deacon Will Friese is assigned to St. Jude Parish in Kapolei and is the coordinator of prison ministry volunteers for the Diocese of Honolulu.
