Pain. We’ve all had it, and we don’t want it again. Americans spend close to $27 billion dollars on pain relief. At least 100 million of us suffer from chronic pain. Millions more have experienced severe pain from injury or disease.
In “The Problem of Pain,” C.S. Lewis explored how to reconcile faith in a loving God with the fact of human suffering. That’s not my problem. I know that sin, not God, brought physical and emotional pain into human life. My concern is how to deal with pain.
I once asked my physician, “Just when does what you doctors call ‘discomfort’ become pain?” He said, “When you can’t think about anything else.” That’s the first challenge of pain. We’re supposed to love others, but it’s hard to even think about anyone else when pain hits.
Sudden pain triggers the “fight, flight or freeze” response. We kick the stupid thing we tripped over and yell at anyone nearby. Or, we curl up in a ball and groan, “Leave me alone.” Or, we sit very, very still, afraid that even breathing might make it worse. When blindsided by pain, even saints may swear.
Prolonged pain presents an additional challenge — fear. We’re afraid the pain won’t end or might even get worse. When it eases a bit, we’re afraid it will return, and we can’t bear the prospect. Torturers count on that fear, starting and stopping until their victims will say or do anything to prevent more pain.
Chronic pain can also create a strange sense of entitlement. Because our cross is heavy, we excuse ourselves from our responsibilities. Some physical adjustments are necessary, of course. Too often, though, we expect our loved ones to not only help us but also tolerate our bad moods and selfish behavior. And some of us, I confess, get very lazy.
Any suffering can cause us to doubt God. If our faith has been in a religion rather than in a person, prayer may be just one more task we skip when we hurt.
On the other hand, if we regularly share everything with Jesus, we may find that pain draws us even closer to the Lord. Catholics are sometimes criticized for focusing too much on the agony of the cross, but there is wisdom behind all those crucifixes. For centuries, suffering people have found comfort in contemplating Christ’s wounded body. The crucifix reminds us that God knows and shares our pain.
A priest once told me, “Make pain your prayer. When it is strong, ask God to take it away. While it continues, ask him to help you bear it. When it ends, give him thanks.”
The mystics go further. St. Peter says we Christians are a nation of priests. It is the role of a priest to present offerings to God. But what can we offer him — time, talent or treasure — that isn’t his already? We can offer him our suffering. St. Paul says our sufferings unite us with Christ in redemptive fellowship. The church assures us that when we offer up our pain, for a particular intention or just in general, we become linked with Christ in a way that can’t be explained but only experienced.
I have a medicine cabinet full of pain relief. Sometimes, though, the pills don’t work. If I stop fighting and just accept the pain and then give it to God, I discover — however briefly — that the mystics are right. The pain stops being a problem and becomes a quiet place in my core where I look at the Lord, and he looks at me, and all is well.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
