IN LITTLE WAYS
I have a theory as to why so many celebrities have miserable personal lives — too much free time. The first thing stars seem to do is hire lots of staff. No more washing laundry, scrubbing toilets or cooking dinner. With the help of drivers and nannies, even child rearing takes little time.
This staff supposedly leaves stars free to create. It also frees their mind to focus almost exclusively on themselves, and that’s dangerous.
From the time you and I became adults, most of our thoughts have been directed outward. We think about our jobs, our spouses and our children. We have fellow parishioners, friends and neighbors whose concerns concern us. And we try, we truly try, to think about God now and then. This blessed busy-ness leaves us little time to worry about whether we’re happy, realizing our full potential, or married to the right person.
Celebrities, on the other hand, have staff constantly asking, “What do you need? What do you want?” No wonder they become so self-absorbed. A few, God bless them, think about world hunger or global warming. Most, though, focus almost exclusively on their own comfort and pleasure.
I see a similar danger in my own life. My kids are grown and living far away. I think about them and my grandchildren, of course, but they’re not around to dominate my thoughts. I’m blessed with an adequate retirement income. Someone else cleans my house and takes care of the yard. My husband does the cooking, and two people don’t make much laundry. I’ve got lots of time to think about me, me, me.
I pictured retirement as a period of quietly growing closer to God. I would spend hours studying Scripture and meditating. Instead, I spend hours reading mysteries, surfing the net and taking long naps. Making time for God is as hard now as it’s ever been, as hard for me as it is for the rich and famous.
Health issues present another spiritual challenge. All my friends (and/or their spouses) have at least one thing seriously wrong with them. Every encounter includes an organ recital. Did you get your test results? How’s the new medication? When’s your surgery?
In the movies, illness brings wisdom and strengthens family ties. However, when you’re really sick, it’s hard to think about anything or anyone else. The routines of illness encourage self-absorption. We seniors are forever checking our blood pressure, blood sugar and resting heart rate. We’re forever wondering if we have the energy to do all our errands and where we’ll find a bathroom. Every time we forget a name, we worry about Alzheimer’s. Maybe I’m wiser and closer to my spouse. However, I’m also often irritable, resentful, bored and depressed. I find it as hard to remember God when I’m sick as I did was when I was young and healthy.
The fact is, we suffer from spiritual attention disorder our whole lives long. Our own concerns are just more interesting than thinking about God. We have moments when we feel close to the Lord, but much of the time we walk by faith that he’s somewhere nearby and that he cares about us. Much of the time we only pray because we know we ought to.
Maintaining a relationship with the Lord is hard work, harder than marriage or parenthood. We have to be as disciplined about prayer, worship and study as we are about taking our meds or paying our bills. Celebrity or ordinary joe, 30-something or 70-plus, we need to regularly think about making sure that we think about God.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo 96720, or email: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
