VIEW FROM THE PEW
Standing in the greeting card section at Longs and reading Valentine cards set my thoughts scattering in diverse directions.
What would St. Valentine, the third century martyr whose name is perpetuated with this holiday, have thought about some of these sentiments, especially in the naughty variety, or even the ones with love personified as food and cute or comic animals? What would it be like to hear sentiments of love sung by balladeers in medieval days, when the Valentine observance arose to fit with notions of chivalry and courtly love? Was it great poetry, thrilling and heart touching to hear … or was it as trite, cliche, blah-blah-blah as much of greeting card writers’ work today?
Why can’t we just save the $5.99 and say it ourselves, “Love you.” Or, to quote from the lips of a llama in heart-shaped sunglasses: “Llove you Llots.” It’s definitely not romantic but is it even a compliment to say “we go together like noodles and sriracha sauce”? Oh, here’s a mixed message, loving you but self-absorbed me: “Blessed is a good word for how I feel about having you in my life … yada yada … someone who knows what really matters to me.”
It was time to step away from the bank of pink and red stuff. And I hadn’t even made it to the candy section yet.
I’ve got a lot of company when I disparage this commercialized-to-the-max holiday. But I’m a fake. I’m not in the romance market, but I’ve got a list of family and friends that I’ll send my love. Sadly, the list has dwindled with deaths, which underscores the importance of sharing the love now.
If it takes a designated day to shake us out of our shy or gruff or clueless state, and if we need help by way of cards, flowers, chocolates, dinner out — hurray for the holiday. We have so many reminders of evil, dangerous, angry, uncivil, malfunctioning facets of life, so much over-emphasis on achievements that mean demeaning, besting or beating the other person. Time for a timeout from that darkness.
What I really treasure are the few little handmade hearts, cut from red paper, handwritten by kids I know. If I get a current update from the grown-up version of those authors, I’m ecstatic.
That’s why I was dismayed at a news story from St. Paul, Minnesota, earlier this month, when an elementary school principal declared an end to celebrating the holiday with the traditional exchange of cards by classmates. He intended to be sensitive to the ethnic and religious differences in the student body with a majority of recent immigrants from Asia and Africa. He set off a social media snit storm about political correctness and anti-Muslim views. All I could think was what a shame to dismantle a simple little way to teach it’s okay to be kind, sweet, friendly, kid-to-kid.
We Catholics know there was a St. Valentine, but could you pass a Q&A for details about him? The Europeans who embraced him as a patron of love about 1,000 years ago knew the story of his life in a time when Christians were being persecuted by Roman emperor Claudius. As a priest, he married Christian couples, which was forbidden, thus the love connection. He was arrested for converting people to Christianity and executed on Feb. 14, 269 AD in Rome. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius marked the day of his martyrdom. In fine, old Catholic tradition, a skull purportedly his can be seen in St. Maria Basilica in Cosmedin, Rome, according to the Catholic Online website. Numerous other relics are to be found around the world.
The website reports that despite archaeological evidence of his existence, it is hard to sort fact from numerous legends. That’s why the Vatican removed St. Valentine from the liturgical calendar in 1969. He is still recognized as a martyr and is considered the patron saint of engaged couples, happy marriages, love, lovers, travelers, young people, beekeepers and people afflicted with epilepsy and fainting.
Paul’s letter to the Corinthians
If there were still a St. Valentine’s feast day, we should have used the liturgy we heard on Jan. 31. Mark’s Gospel told of the people of Nazareth, Jesus’ home town, driving him out of the synagogue and out of town because they didn’t like his reference to non-Jews who were healed and helped by God’s love. “He was trying to open their minds to God’s mercy but they refused to be embraced by Jesus’ love and kindness,” Blessed Sacrament Father Francisco De Los Reyes of Mary, Star of the Sea parish, told the congregation.
In his homily that day, the pastor recalled an old song that has been repeated in numerous albums, movie soundtracks and commercials since its 1965 debut. “What the world needs now is love, sweet love … no, not just for some, but for everyone.” A perfect sentiment for this week. But, Father Frankie, I won’t forgive you for planting that song in my head; I have endless replay but the off button doesn’t work. I may have to wait for an Easter tune to replace it.
But what I do not want to forget — thank you, Father — is the pastor’s homily meandering through the reading from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, the passage we’ve all heard dozens of times at weddings and anniversaries. You know the one:
“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
“If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over to be burned, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
And the pastor took us through that “Love is …” sequence.
Next he had the congregation do it again, each person substituting his or her own name. It proved to be a mind-opening experience. “Love is patient, love is kind.” Mary is patient, Mary is kind. But am I really?
“It is not jealous, love is not pompous.
“It is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests.” Oh God, how could I put my name in that and be truthful?
“It is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury.
“It does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
“It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If only Mary could.
How could I possibly measure up?
It became a prayer to seek a change in me. It was an examination of conscience. It was a Valentine promise to become what I want to be. I recommend it as a spiritual exercise. No price tag attached.
Those famous words from St. Paul conclude with the best Valentine sentiments ever said.
“Love never fails.
“So faith, hope and love remain, these three.
“But the greatest of these is love.”
