The married life
Mother Teresa said, “The greatest gift you can give your children is not material things, but your love, your prayers and your example.”
That was evident in the life of the recently deceased Dolly Parton.
Parton frequently shared about her childhood. Born in a one-room cabin in rural Tennessee, the fourth of 12 children, she said that despite her family being “dirt poor,” she has happy memories of her childhood. Her mother told her, “We got no money, but we’re rich in love.”
Faith was ever present in the Parton home, regularly expressed in singing, prayer and attending the Pentecostal church where her grandfather was the pastor.
It’s normal to want to give our children material things, but it is no substitute for God and familial love.
When I was 12 I got my first babysitting job, for our neighbors’ only child, Beth. She was a sweet girl who loved attention.
Beth had everything a young girl could want. Her family had a large color television and a soft couch to sit on while we watched Disney. There was ice cream in the freezer, soda in the refrigerator and bags of candy in a bowl on the table. Beth’s mom always said, “Help yourself to whatever you want.”
My sisters and I would marvel at how Beth wasn’t interested in all the treats that were always laying around. These things would never have lasted in our house of 10 children!
Beth had a pretty, queen-size bed which was lovely to behold. The only problem was she never wanted to get in it.
She would talk and talk and delay going to bed as long as possible. She would stroke her cat and ask me endless questions. I began to realize that she was often lonely. She craved company, love and affection that filled my home.
Later in life I worked at a resort hotel in housekeeping. One day the management offered to pay me well if I would take care of five young children, ages 10 and under, from a wealthy family who were guests.
The first evening I arrived at the family’s luxury suite, the children were jumping on the beds, running around the spacious rooms and causing mayhem wherever they went. There was a table laden with bottles of soda and bags of snacks. I could see this would not be an easy job.
However, the first night went well. We had room service for dinner, and I managed to get the children to sleep by telling them numerous soothing stories. The parents were pleasantly surprised when they returned that evening to find all their children asleep. Although it was 9 p.m., it appeared this was not their usual experience.
The parents were so happy they asked the hotel manager if I would watch the children for the remaining five days of their vacation, from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. each day. The hotel manager begged me to take the job, saying I could have the run of the hotel and do whatever I wanted. I hesitantly agreed.
I knew I had to have a strategy if I was going to survive for five days. I recognized the children needed activities that could use up their abundant energy. (Young as they were, none of them took naps.)
We spent most of our time outdoors, going to the pool, going for a carriage ride, running around the grounds and ordering food from the hotel restaurant. I think everyone at the hotel saw us out and about. The children were so tired by nighttime they eagerly awaited my stories and went fast to sleep.
I think the children did have a good time. But I wondered if they would have enjoyed their time more if their whole family had been together.
They were very young and unnecessarily spoiled. Their parents obviously doted on them, but where were they all day? They didn’t spend any time with their children. They gave them everything they could possibly want, at great expense, except themselves.
The holy family was not this way. Jesus was born in very humble circumstances, but his early days were surrounded by the loving faces of his mother and Joseph. He felt secure in their love despite being born in a stable.
Growing up, his parents must have told him the Scriptures many times and brought him to synagogue. He was part of a faith-filled community.
Jesus didn’t need to be entertained. No material things could have replaced the love, prayers and examples of his parents.
Although it is tempting to give our children everything they want, what they really need is a stable, loving, Christian home. It is comforting to know that through love, prayer and example, this is within our grasp.