By Lisa Dahm
Hawaii Catholic Herald
On the screen of Ron Gochenouer’s phone is the quote: “Work hard in silence. Let success make the noise.”
“That’s kind of how Ron rolled,” said his wife, Teresa Gochenouer. “He didn’t talk about stuff — he got into motion.”
The passing of the man of few words and effective action on June 18 was known almost immediately due to the many events that Gochenouer had already planned for that week alone — his absence leaving an emptiness much louder than the man himself.
On June 19, he was scheduled to lead a sunset rosary at Ala Moana Beach Park, an event he had organized for several years. Instead of praying with Gochenouer at the rosary, family, friends and other devoted Catholics dedicated decades of the rosary for the repose of his soul.
That Saturday, he would have been at the quarterly meeting of Catholic Men’s Fellowship of Hawaii that he founded and organized, splitting his time between that and the Saturday morning homeless outreach he led with Teresa at the former Cathedral School property on Nuuanu Avenue.
“To me and for me, Ron was a faithful and loyal husband — a gentle giant who really loved me,” Teresa Gochenouer said. “He was devoted to God and his family.”
In his memory, friends and family quickly organized a nine-day novena in different locations, during which they prayed the rosary for the repose of his soul.
Bishop Larry Silva has known the Gochenouers since he was ordained and installed as Honolulu’s bishop 21 years ago.
Bishop Silva said the Gochenouers were faithful parishioners at the Cathedral Basilica of Our Lady of Peace, where most of their seven children served Mass and were in a variety of ministries — from singing in the choir to serving as altar servers, lectors and Eucharistic ministers.
“I was told that Ron died while mowing the lawn at Blessed Sacrament Church, which he also attended from time to time as a devotee of the traditional Latin Mass,” Bishop Silva said. “He was working — as usual — to make the church more beautiful. He made the Church, the Bride of Christ, more beautiful by his devoted faith and constant love. May he rest in the joy of the saints!”
The bishop said that it was not enough for Gochenouer simply to attend Mass, but instead to go much deeper in answering Christ’s call to him.
“He saw a need for men to truly live their faith, because that would strengthen them in marriages, family life, and in engagement of the community with the values of the Gospel,” Bishop Silva said.
Bishop Silva recalled that in 2023, when Gochenouer sought to establish the Catholic Men’s Fellowship of Hawaii men’s ministry, he first asked for the bishop’s blessing.
“He was always very respectful of my role as pastor of the diocese,” Bishop Silva said. “But by no means was Ron dependent on me to make things happen! He organized like-minded leaders and started meeting for prayer, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Mass and fellowship. He worked very hard, and his efforts have borne much good fruit.”
Tirelessly helping others
Ronald “Ron” Gochenouer was born on March 18, 1963, in Fort Benning, Georgia, to George and Frances (who came from Maui) Gochenouer. His father was in the Army, and the family eventually moved to Hawaii, where Ron grew up in Salt Lake. He was the youngest of six, with five much older siblings: Lenda, Shirley, Steve, Richard and Michael.
He attended Radford High School where he played baseball and football, graduating in 1981. He continued to play baseball at Hawaii Pacific College where he met Teresa Shorba, who played on the college’s volleyball team.
They were wed on Valentine’s Day in 1988 at Holy Family Church in Honolulu.
They have seven children — James, Matthew, Benjamin, Ian, Isaac, Rachel and Catherine — and 12 grandchildren.
Gochenouer had been the outreach ministry coordinator for the Cathedral Basilica of Our Lady of Peace for 10 years. Teresa and their children helped him with movie nights at the Kamiano Center in downtown Honolulu, near the cathedral basilica, and taking care of the people in need who live near the property.
Every Saturday morning, the family has offered service to people experiencing homelessness — offering hot food, showers and clean clothes. The outreach was moved to the former Cathedral School site several years ago and operates out of a small, former convent behind the school building.
“They built a community with a sense of family over there, where the homeless felt loved and like they belonged,” said Lisa Shorba, Teresa’s sister.
Men’s ministries
Gochenouer felt a call to develop strong men’s fellowship groups throughout the Diocese of Honolulu.
“He looked around in the church and said, ‘Where are the men? We have to do something to get the men,” Teresa Gochenouer recalled.
Gochenouer created two men’s groups in 2014 — Fishers of Men and That Man Is You — before establishing Catholic Men’s Fellowship of Hawaii in December 2023. Through quarterly breakfasts and annual conferences, CMFH has built a solid network for men and also brought national speakers to the islands, including Jon Leonetti, Jesse Romero, Bear Woznick and Father Larry Richards.
Ron and Teresa Gochenouer have also helped with the Rachel’s Vineyard ministry, a retreat group for women and men who have experienced abortion, since 2020. Ron was also a member of the Knights of Columbus, Council 5000, and in the past had served as treasurer and financial secretary.
John Fielding, who worked with Gochenouer through the Knight of Columbus and knew him for 30 years, said Gochenouer’s focus was on supporting husbands and fathers to “step up” in family life.
“Everything he did reflected upon his family,” Fielding said. “He’s just an amazing man, and I’m very proud to call him my friend.”
Praise from all
“My father was a man who never talked about what he was going to do. He just did it,” said Ian Gochenouer. “A man of action who at the drop of a dime would help any and all who called on him.”
Ian Gochenouer said that a day after the devastating Lahaina wildfire in 2023, his father and other “men of action” gathered thousands of dollars in donations of food, clothes, generators and other necessities to “help these strangers who were suffering.”
“His deep love for God and others, coupled with his compassion, humility and selflessness, is something that our world desperately needs,” Ian Gochenouer said. “His life was the best lesson he could have given us on how to live as a real man of God. His example of loving and helping others over his own needs is something I hope I and my sons can emulate.”
Benjamin Gochenouer echoed his brother’s view of his father as a man of action. Daughters Rachel and Catherine saw their father as a selfless, truthful person who served others.
Dallas Carter, president of EPIC Ministry, said of Ron Gochenouer that “we lost one of the great ones.”
“When something needed to be done, he was just there. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t complain. He came,” Carter said.
Mike Wong, co-chair of Catholic Men’s Fellowship of Hawaii, had worked with Gochenouer since the nonprofit group began.
“He is intentional,” Wong said. “Ron sees the purpose (of serving the church and his family), and he wants to bring men along.”
At the June 20 CMFH quarterly breakfast at Resurrection of the Lord Church in Waipio Gentry, keynote speaker Deacon Darryl Salvador said Gochenouer first contacted him in 2024, shortly after Deacon Salvador’s ordination, about presenting at the event. The men reconnected just a few months ago, with Gochenouer again asking Deacon Salvador to speak at the breakfast.
“Thank you, Ron, for fighting the good fight, finishing the race, keeping the faith,” Deacon Salvador said. “We are all better men — and better men of God — because of you.”
CMFH’s annual conference will still take place Aug. 22 at St. Anthony of Padua Church in Kailua with guest speaker Bart Schuchts. Find out more at cmfhawaii.org/events/annual-conference-2026.
Friends have also started a GiveSendGo page for the Gochenouer family to assist with their sudden loss. Visit www.givesendgo.com/in-memory-of-ron-gochenouer?utm_source=share.
Hawaii Catholic Herald editor Celia K. Downes contributed to this story.
Above: Ron and Teresa Gochenoeur gathered with their children to celebrate their son Matthew’s marriage several years ago. From left, James, Benjamin, Catherine, Ron, Isaac, Ellie (Matthew’s new wife), Matthew, Teresa, Rachel and Ian. (Courtesy Mychal Bohart)