By Lisa Dahm
Hawaii Catholic Herald
This Mother’s Day is an important one for Dr. Ritabelle Fernandes.
On May 10, the associate professor of geriatric medicine at the University of Hawaii John A. Burns School of Medicine will release her first music album, “Returning Home,” in memory of her mother, Philomena “Phil” Fernandes, who died Jan. 20, 2025.
Described as “palliative care curriculum” and set to Hawaiian music and reggae, each song broaches a different topic that caregivers, family members and health care professionals face when dealing with a loved one at the end of life — such as saying goodbye, understanding pain management, taking care of themselves and discussing advance directives.
“It helped me find meaning to her passing,” said Fernandes, who is also a parishioner at Holy Trinity Church in Kuliouou.
Phil Fernandes was diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer and died 10 days later. Providentially, Fernandes thought her mother was developing dementia and had twice flown to visit her parents at their home in India. During those visits she spent time with her mother the year before her cancer diagnosis.
All for Phil
Fernandes grew up in Mumbai, India, and learned piano in her youth. She studied music and passed examinations through the Royal School of Music and the Trinity College of Music, both in London, earning a teaching diploma and then providing lessons.
“My first money in my life was in music,” Fernandes said.
Her father, Jimmy Fernandes, who is 96, said that music was an important part of their family life.
“Music is in our blood,” he said. “My wife Phil encouraged all our children to learn the piano.”
The family was involved in their home parish, and Ritabelle Fernandes served as the organist for the children’s Mass for almost 10 years. Her parents also were part of the Basic Christian Community lay organization.
One day, Fernandes’ mother asked her to compose a song for a Valentine’s Day program for seniors. That veritable shove led to her first attempt at putting lyrics to music.
“She always encouraged my singing and music career,” Fernandes said. “But now my mother doesn’t get one song — she gets a full album.”
Through her work at the University of Hawaii, Fernandes has provided palliative care training for family members, developing curriculums on family caregiving in Chuuk, Federated States of Micronesia, and at Palau Community College. She has also worked with the Diocese of Samoa-Pago Pago on a grant to support Hope House, a home for the elderly.
Fernandes worked in hospice care and is an expert at end-of-life care.
She often heard that caregivers were unable to leave their loved ones for seminars.
“I thought, ‘We have to get caregiver training into the home, so the caregiver doesn’t have to leave the home,” she said. “What better way than our music, than a CD that can be played in the house that they can learn. Every song has a learning objective. Every song is teaching something.”
12 points of healing
Fernandes’ inspiration for her songs came from her experience as an expert in geriatrics, and through suggestions from other professionals and friends. She took all her ideas and worked with an artificial intelligence program to develop lyrics.
“There’s a song on giving people permission to let go,” Fernandes said. “There’s a song even to teach people that hearing is the last sense to go, so you’ve got to be careful what you talk in the room, because the person could still hear you.”
One song, called “Let the Ocean Take You Home,” was inspired by memorial ceremonies in which a person’s ashes are scattered at sea by their loved ones who paddle out in canoes.
She also addresses the World Health Organization’s pain ladder for administering medication in a song called “The Painful Club.”
The song “Coconut Heart” addresses caregiver respite.
“As a physician, my challenge with caregivers is that they can get burned out and they don’t take a break,” she said. “They need to rest, they need to accept help, and this song is targeting all of that.”
She said the last song on her album, “Ho‘oponopono Prayer,” which means “making things right with someone,” was written to help caregivers understand the importance of closure.
“I feel it will resonate with hospice providers, with educators, people in higher learning institutions (and) families,” she said.
Fernandes is also a painter and created a painting of her view of heaven for the album release. She plans to publish a calendar with a quote each month to inspire caregivers.
“It’s a visual companion to this music,” she said.
“Coming Home” will be available on Spotify, Apple Music and on over 100 streaming platforms on Mother’s Day, May 10.
Above: Dr. Ritabelle Fernandes says her mother, Philomena “Phil” Fernandes, encouraged her singing and music career. Phil Fernandes passed away last year. (Courtesy Dr. Ritabelle Fernandes)