By Val and Deacon Gary Streff
Special to the Herald
The Diocese of Honolulu’s Respect Life Office offer several initiatives for anyone seeking information and support: Walking with Moms in Need, the Miscarriage Ministry and a program that addresses infertility.
Walking with Moms in Need: This program was started by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops) in 2020, when the church celebrated the 25th anniversary of Pope John Paul II’s encyclical “Evangelium Vitae,” which reflected on “the value and inviolability of human life.”
We possess the same dignity whether we were conceived one hour ago or have lived to be 100 years old — reflecting the concept of “imago Dei,” we are made in the image and likeness of God (Gn 1:27).
We celebrate all pregnant women and women with unexpected pregnancies who are bringing new life into the world. The church joins in nationwide efforts to support and find available resources to assist pregnant and parenting mothers.
Some of the challenges these women face include financial need; the disruption of achieving personal career goals; a lack of family support; and not wanting a child at a certain time in their lives. Walking with Moms in Need offers:
- A listing of community programs to aid pregnant women. If it is an unexpected pregnancy, Catholic Charities Hawaii offers services such as the Mary Jane Home and transitional housing.
- Pastoral care and guidance from the church.
- Information on pregnancy centers, which provide free or affordable health care, pregnancy testing, ultrasound referrals, baby supplies, online parenting classes and more.
Parishes or vicariates can advertise the Walking with Moms in Need program by holding an annual “baby shower” that supports pregnant and parenting mothers with child care supplies, resources and fellowship.
Miscarriage Ministry: Many women have one or two miscarriages and do not know what to do. The loss is great and they often suffer in silence.
The Respect Life Office understands the heartbreak of bringing a child into this world only to plan for his or her burial. The child is a gift from God and Respect Life coordinators are ready to walk with couples through the grieving process.
If a miscarriage occurs at home, parents should place the baby’s remains in a vial filled with saline solution and refrigerate it. If the miscarriage occurs at a hospital or medical facility, they should insist on bringing the baby’s remains home.
Once a couple has secured their baby’s remains, they can contact a mortuary to have the baby cremated and placed in an urn — hopefully to be buried alongside family or in an individual plot.
Couples are also encouraged to name their baby and acknowledge his or her unique identity, even if the gender is not known (in which case a neutral name could be used).
The church offers a blessing ceremony or funeral rite through the Order of Christian Funerals; contact your parish priest or deacon for more information.
Each year, the Respect Life Office holds a miscarriage Mass with Bishop Larry Silva at the Co-Cathedral of St. Theresa in Honolulu. Parents can name their child here if they did not do so earlier, and everyone in attendance prays with them for their loss. An ornament and a certificate with the child’s name are blessed by Bishop Silva and presented to parents.
It’s a good time to gather as a community to pray for one another. Each loss is heartbreaking, and parents need the support of the community to grieve with them.
Infertility: When couples are ready to have a family, they sometimes find it difficult to have a child. They may revert to in vitro fertilization or surrogacy, but the Catholic Church considers both procedures morally unacceptable because they separate procreation from the marital act. In addition, with surrogacy a child is not granted the privilege of being formed through the love of the mother but is seen as a commodity — something to be bought.
“Donum Vitae,” a text that offers guidance on respect for human life and the dignity of procreation, teaches that if a given medical intervention helps or assists the marriage act to achieve pregnancy, it may be considered moral; if the intervention replaces the marriage act in order to produce life, it is not moral. The sacrament of marriage is universally seen as the love between the husband, wife and the Holy Spirit.
Natural family planning and NaPro Technology are positive ways to bring a child into this world. The Catholic Church endorses these programs because they are effective and align with Catholic social teachings and health directives.
With natural family planning, women are offered ways to track their hormonal cycles to identify their fertile periods. With NaPro Technology, a doctor will focus on diagnosing the root of the problem of reproductive issues rather than masking them with contraception or IVF.
If infertility persists for a couple, the church affirms that their marriage is valuable and fruitful and that children are a gift but not a requirement for a holy life.
For more information on these programs, contact the Respect Life Office at (808) 203-6722 or check with your parish Respect Life coordinator.
Val and Deacon Gary Streff are co-directors of the Respect Life Office.