Embracing Family
How many times as a parent have we said, “So, what do you say?” to remind our children to say “thank you”? Ingratitude has been an age-old challenge, even in the time of Jesus.
In Luke 17:17, after curing 10 people with leprosy, Jesus asked, “Where are the other nine?” Only one returned to give thanks. How reassuring that even Jesus felt the sting of ingratitude! Yet as the United States has become more affluent, children and adults have become increasingly entitled.
How can we nurture thankfulness in the next generation — children accustomed to instant gratification in an increasingly digital world? As Catholic parents, God calls us to raise our children to recognize that every good thing is a gift from God. The Love and Logic parenting philosophy helps us guide children by our example, moving them from entitlement to authentic gratitude.
Love and Logic focuses on allowing a child’s choices — even their mistakes — to become learning opportunities through our empathetic response and lovingly holding them accountable to logical consequences. What does that mean for parents? No more lectures, arguments or anger! Instead, children are allowed to own their emotions and the results of their decisions. Parents step off the emotional roller coaster and model calm confidence.
Our parenting should mirror how God “parents” us — with mercy and justice. Through experience and reflection, children see the connection between their choices, consequences and gratitude. When children experience consequences in a safe, loving home, they grow in respect, responsibility and appreciation.
For example, if a child forgets to bring lunch to school and goes hungry, that discomfort becomes an influential teacher. It helps them realize that many children go hungry daily, and this encourages compassion. They also learn problem-solving and responsibility: “That must have been hard to finish the school day hungry. I bet you’ll figure out something different for tomorrow.”
This empathetic response models compassion, not criticism. It builds trust and self-confidence rather than resentment.
As parents, we can imitate God’s guidance, remembering that “He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness” (Heb 12:10). Through our empathy, children begin to notice blessings and develop appreciation for the good they see in the world.
Gratitude then unfolds naturally into stewardship. We can invite our children to reflect on their blessings — on Thanksgiving Day and every day — and discern how they can use their time, talent and treasure to help others.
Cultivating gratitude begins at home, where our children can serve their family by setting the table or washing dishes. Then encourage them to help beyond the family: donating toys to a shelter, assisting a neighbor, volunteering for beach cleanups or helping prepare meals for the houseless. Let them choose.
The opportunities are endless, and when children give freely, they learn that stewardship is gratitude in action. One of the best ways to thank God for his abundant goodness is by caring for his creation and serving others.
Consider creating family gratitude practices unique to our households. Hold a family meeting to brainstorm ways to show gratitude as Catholics. Some ideas include praying before meals, keeping a family gratitude journal, participating in service projects or creating a gratitude jar where we jot down blessings to share periodically.
The more grateful we are as parents, the more grateful our children will be. Consistency and role modeling are key — our children learn far more from what we do than what we say.
Love and Logic encourages parents to cultivate grateful hearts through empathy and consistency. At the same time, our Catholic faith inspires us to recognize a deeper reason for gratitude: God as Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier. Life itself becomes a learning opportunity — for both parents and children. The goal is not perfection but progress, striving each day to grow in gratitude.
God is patient with us and calls us to be lovingly patient with our children. Let us continue to guide them with empathy and joy so they may recognize that every blessing — every challenge, even — is a gift from God.
Questions? Please email Sarah and David at Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com. We would be honored to lift you in prayer and respond!