The married life
“As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in him, rooted in him and built upon him and established in the faith as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” (1 Col 2: 6)
This is the way 94-year-old Ethel Fragas has lived her life, personifying the spirit of aloha built on the foundation of Christ. This is her story.
Ethel Haasenritter was born April 29, 1931, in Honolulu, the eighth of 10 children. She grew up in Kalihi, living in a two-bedroom, plantation-style home.
Her mother was a quiet, warm Hawaiian-Chinese woman. Her father, full German, was friendly and outgoing. He had come to Hawaii on a ship, but got sick and was unable to return.
On Sundays Ethel’s mother always dressed nicely, including a hat, to attend Kawaiahao Church where she sang in the choir. Since their family didn’t have a car, they rode a taxi or streetcar.
Ethel’s father walked to work each day and was in charge of the custodians at Amfax. For Valentine’s Day he would get her mom a big box of chocolates, and the children got small boxes.
Ethel had two sisters who were sent to Kalaupapa with Hansen’s disease. Ethel didn’t know her oldest sister, Edith, but Edith’s 18-month-old child was left with the family, except the times when he was with his father, who was like a brother to Ethel.
Her sister, Margaret, was sent to Kalaupapa when Ethel was young. Years later when Margaret was able to leave Kalaupapa, Ethel helped her get established on Oahu.
The bombing of Pearl Harbor happened when Ethel was 10. Those were “hard times,” she said. The family had to stand in line to get a ticket which they used to get poi, a family staple.
When Ethel was 11 years old her mother died, and her father became “papa and mama.” Two years later Ethel and two of her other sisters were sent to Molokai to live with their aunt, who lived on land surrounded by pineapple fields. They stayed there for two years, a time Ethel remembers fondly.
Returning to Oahu, Ethel took care of three older brothers, all bachelors. Ethel describes her life growing up as “a good life. I had a good family. They were quiet, but loving.”
A family of her own
When Ethel was 18 she met Tom Fragas, who was home from college and was helping to form a softball team at the recreation center where Ethel went.
“He came in smiling,” Ethel said. “Our eyes locked. He asked someone who I was.”
In 1952 they were married in Portland, where Tom graduated from the University of Portland. In 1953, when Ethel was pregnant with their first son, Tom was drafted into the Army.
He went to officer’s training school, and Ethel chose to stay in Portland at the encouragement of her neighbor. Tom and Ethel had five children.
In Army life, the family moved around a lot. They were stationed in Hawaii three times. They also lived in San Francisco, Texas, Washington, D.C., and Georgia. “We saw a lot of the country, with five kids and my mother-in-law in tow.”
They were also stationed in Germany for 20 months, during which time Tom was away “in the field” a lot. Tom also was deployed to Korea and Vietnam. Army life was hard when they had to frequently change their children’s schools, but otherwise Ethel enjoyed living in different places. “I loved Army life!” she said.
In 1968 Tom and Ethel bought a home in Kailua for their family, where they lived after Tom retired from the military. Tom died in 2013. Ethel remains in her Kailua home.
Spiritual life
For many years the Fragas family went to St. John Vianney Church in Kailua early on Sunday mornings, as Tom was Catholic. Then Tom and Ethel would go to Ethel’s church, First Assembly of God in Kailua, which they attended on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings. There Tom learned his love for the Bible.
After being married for 32 years, Ethel decided to become Catholic. Ethel said Tom never encouraged her to convert, but she knew it was time.
At St. John Vianney, the couple met Bob and Bev Linczer. Bob invited Tom to a Cursillo weekend. Then Bob invited Tom and Ethel to a prayer meeting at the Linczer home, “a house on a hill.” They saw people raising their hands and praising God.
The Fragases quit their bowling night so they could attend the weekly prayer meetings. At some point Ethel asked to be prayed over for a greater outpouring of the Holy Spirit. She said she “crumbled” with God’s love.
She started attending prayer meetings which were held at St. John Vianney. Now Ethel is part of a community where “we have a lot of love and caring. We are a family.” She sang, “This is my story. This is my song. I praise my savior all day long!”
At top: Ethel Fragas (Courtesy Mary Duddy)