Witness to Jesus | Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time
Here is the prepared text of the homily delivered on Aug. 30 at St. Rita Church, Haiku, during the installation of Missionaries of Faith Father Poulose (Paul) Kannampilly as pastor; and on Aug. 31 at Holy Spirit Church/Newman Center, Manoa, during the installation of Father Kurt Meyer as pastor.
Which would be more humiliating: being moved to a lower place at a banquet, or having some fault or indiscretion you committed publicly revealed? I think I would personally choose the banquet scene, because the other choice could be much more humiliating.
But what if we freely admitted to someone that we had committed some mistake or indiscretion, and even ask forgiveness for it? Yes, it would be humiliating, but also very freeing, not only for the person we offended but for us as well.
Marriage and family life are extremely important. They are the bedrock of our culture and provide a context in which — we hope! — everyone will feel the security of being loved. Yet sometimes we can offend a spouse, a child, a parent or a sibling in ways we may not even be aware of.
Let’s say a teen comes home from school, and instead of greeting the teen and asking how the day went, the parent immediately says, “Make sure you do your homework and get your chores done.” This causes a negative feeling, rather than a positive one.
But what if the parent says, “I’m sorry I spoke that way to you.” The child may be taken aback, but may, without being told, be more likely to do homework and chores. It is humiliating for the parent to do this, but, as Jesus says, those who humble themselves will be exalted.
What if a married couple is always arguing about the same thing? Perhaps without knowing it, this erodes their love for one another. Then one of them says something like, “Honey, I am sorry for arguing with you about this all the time. Please forgive me.” Then the door may be open to true dialogue and a healing of the relationship.
To humble oneself can be very hard. We can always come up with excuses for our negative behavior. But if we humble ourselves, as Jesus urges us to do, we may find that what we were constantly arguing about is not that important in the grand scheme of things.
As the temperature rises with so many conflicts in our culture, we can self-righteously proclaim that we are right, and suffer the consequences of greater conflict. Or we can say, “Perhaps I just don’t understand what you are thinking, and I would respectfully like to ask you what your true opinion is on that topic.”
This would be humiliating, but it might be just what is needed to lower the heat so that there can be real understanding between those who disagree with one another.
Of course, we have the sacrament of penance, which is definitely a way we humble ourselves, because no one enjoys telling another person that he or she has sinned and is sorry for that sin. It is humiliating to do this.
Yet if we do confess sincerely, it can be the most liberating experience we can imagine. God will exalt us despite the humiliating sin we have committed.
So, while the admonition of Jesus regarding behavior at banquets is meant to help us be more free, enjoying the banquet whether we are in the first place or the last, his admonition applies to more than etiquette at a banquet.
The key is to shift our mentality from “What’s in it for me?” to “How can I help this other person grow in faith and love?”
If we only reach out to those with whom we get along, it is like inviting only friends and neighbors to the banquet. Jesus urges us to invite those we might prefer not to be present, because he knows that this attitude is best for all concerned. It opens our hearts to be like God’s heart, reconciling those who have offended him and healing even those who do not deserve it.
God constantly humiliates himself to exalt us, and Jesus teaches us that the greatest freedom and healing can come from imitating the way God treats us.