Embracing Family
Do you ever wonder why we bring Ziploc bags with Cheerios, Goldfish or other snacks, as well as toys and devices, to church? The family “church bag” oftentimes includes snacks, toys and even devices, in addition to diapers and bottles.
Sometimes it’s good to stop and ask ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing.
Why am I feeding my children at church? Unless they are infants or have a medical issue, there is no need to feed them at church. They can wait and learn self-control, patience and even healthier eating habits.
If my children are focusing on eating and drinking in the pew, they will not be able to focus on the Eucharistic miracle. They will struggle to see the value or appreciate the consecration and receiving Communion if they are busy eating and drinking something else. There is no reason for them to pay attention to the Mass because we have given them food and drink, and we ask them to pay attention so that they do not drop or spill it.
Why am I giving my children toys at church? Is it about distracting them so that I can pray?
If my children are playing with toys during Mass, how can they possibly focus on the liturgy? We complain that so many of our children struggle with ADHD or simply focusing or listening. Mass provides us with the opportunity to help our children practice some of these skills.
Our kids can sit, listen, pray and participate in the Mass. If we want to bring some faith-related items to help them, that’s fine. However, food, toys and devices are not needed. They’re counterproductive on many levels. We can prepare them in advance, quietly explain key points throughout the Mass, and leave Mass with a commitment to make a difference in our homes and communities.
If you are a parent, lead by example. Turn cellphones off, don’t check messages and be focused on the liturgy and your children, not distracted by the countless ideas running through your head or mentally preparing your to-do list for after church.
If you are a priest or deacon reading this, please continue to discern how to help make the Mass more relevant for our children, teens and us through engaging homilies that are relatable to the parishioners, as well as through having vibrant greeters, ushers, lectors and music.
All of these things help us feel that our church is our home, where we are welcomed, loved and appreciated. We do not need to be entertained at Mass, but we can certainly draw inspiration from going to a Mass that engages everyone in the pews.
Let’s not seek to distract our children. Let’s seek to actively engage them at Mass by our preparation (having them run around before church, eat a snack if needed and go to the restroom), by our attentiveness to them during the Mass, and by our going forth from church resolved to bring the Gospel message into our hearts, our homes and our lives.
Let’s leave the Cheerios, toys and devices behind so that we are less distracted and more focused on why we came to church in the first place: to pray with our children.
P.S.: If you think your children are not capable of attending Mass without these, think again. As a former Catholic school teacher and principal, I have seen hundreds (if not thousands) of children behaving beautifully at school liturgies, participating wholeheartedly, and then on Sunday, having a tantrum unless they had their food and toys.
Revisit your expectations for church. Create new rules as a family. Keep your standards high. Your children will meet and surpass them!
Questions? Please email Sarah and David at Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com. We would be honored to lift you in prayer and respond.