Viriditas2: Soul Greening
Interviewed by Sister Malia Dominica Wong, OP
Hawaii Catholic Herald
The Estomagos, married for 55 years, are parishioners at St. Anthony of Padua Church, Kailua. Peter is the athletic director of PAC-5 Athletics. Donna is the director of religious education at St. Anthony.
Sr. Malia: Peter, I hardly see you around these days, though I sometimes run into Donna.
Donna: (smiles) I hardly see him too!
Sr. Malia: 55 years of marriage. What keeps you both going?
Peter: Things are different now. A lot of it goes back to how we were raised.
Donna: And our faith. We’ve made a commitment to this path.
Peter: Even in our work, people come and go.
Donna: And people change. We’ve had ups and downs, disagreements. But we’ve learned to hold space. Sometimes that means being silent — not about everything, since I still talk a lot! (laughs) But I’ve learned to be still inside, to listen without always thinking about how to respond, and to reflect on why I’m responding.
Peter: We live independent lives in a sense — we each focus on our own missions which keep us busy. But we’re not disconnected.
Donna: He helps me when I need it, and I do the same for him. We don’t always know every detail of each other’s day. He is dealing with coaches, parents, teams, and I’m involved with a lot of people too. Our challenge is making time to be quiet together and check in. We’re both passionate about what we do. Peter meets with every coach individually before and after each season—that personal touch matters.
Peter: It’s all about relationships.
Sr. Malia: How do you keep your relationship with God strong?
Peter: We go to daily Mass.
Donna: And we pray the rosary.
Peter: We met at daily Mass at Chaminade, back when there was a chapel in Henry Hall.
Donna: Peter was starting some sports programs. I played on the basketball team — the Squirrels! (laughs) That’s how I got involved.
Peter: 16 years of Marianist education, from Saint Louis High School to college, helped shape me.
Sr. Malia: In this Jubilee Year focused on “Pilgrims of Hope,” how do you give hope?
Peter: My mission is what I am doing. Things don’t always move how we want when involved with others. I’m grounded in older ways of thinking and years of experience. But I am open to change and making things happen for the better.
Donna: We ask the Holy Spirit to guide us — when to engage, and when to step back. We’ve learned not everything is ours to carry.
Peter: I remind students that if a coach or teacher is upset, it’s because they care. That’s love in action.
Donna: Look at the saints — many were persecuted, yet they stayed faithful. They sparked change, often not in their lifetime. God gives us what we need — when to speak, when to step back. Sometimes it’s time for others to rise. We need to keep reminding ourselves that it is not our will, but his.
Peter: I’ve had schools ask me back, but I say no. It’s time for the next generation.
