Scores of couples renew their wedding vows on World Marriage Day during Mass at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles. (Victor Aleman / Via Nueva / OSV News / 2014)
By Jennifer Rector
Hawaii Catholic Herald
While a bride makes her way down the aisle, each step brings her closer to life with her groom. Neither knows what the future will bring, yet they confidently take the plunge of figuring it out together.
As they say their vows, one after the other, they promise to be faithful in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and to honor all the days of their lives.
They then say “I do,” vowing their commitment to one another, and God in return secures his commitment to them in a covenant.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “This matrimonial covenant … is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament” (CCC 1601).
“Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. It is a lifelong commitment of love and faithfulness between a husband and wife,” said Cliff and Irene Villareal with Hawaii Catholic Engaged Encounter.
“Through marriage, a couple grows together in love, learns to sacrifice for each other and builds a strong foundation for family life,” said the Villareals. “Marriage is important because it reflects God’s love and teaches us how to love as Christ loves — completely and selflessly.”
Cliff and Irene dated for eight years before marrying 22 years ago.
“We believe that God brought us together in his perfect timing, and through the years, God has taught us the power of forgiveness, patience and always keeping God at the center of our relationship,” they said.
They have three children: Logan (21), Landon (19) and Ciara (13).
The Villareals have dedicated 18 years to Hawaii Catholic Engaged Encounter, helping engaged couples prepare for their lifelong journey of marriage.
It’s a ministry they are passionate about where they too understand the highs and lows of marriage.
“Our marriage has been filled with love, laughter, challenges and, most importantly, faith,” said the Villareals.
Working with engaged couples throughout the years, they said that though all marriages have challenges, there are a few that they hope couples know ahead of time:
Communication struggles — “It’s easy to assume your spouse understands you, but clear and loving communication takes effort.”
Expectations vs. reality — “No one is perfect, and marriage isn’t always romantic. Learning to love in the small, everyday moments is key.”
Balancing responsibilities — “Work, kids and daily life can be stressful, but making time for each other keeps love strong.”
Spiritual differences — “Even if both spouses are Catholic, they may have different ways of expressing their faith. Praying together and keeping God at the center helps.”
Despite the challenges, marriage can become a joyful surprise of strength, resilience and of course love.
“Marriage helps us become better, more patient and more selfless people,” the Villareals said. “Another surprising benefit is teamwork — you have someone to share life’s burdens and joys. There’s also a deep sense of belonging — knowing that no matter what happens, you have a partner who is committed to loving and supporting you.”
According to a Gallup study, married couples are 12% to 24% happier and thriving than those who are not. This was based on a survey in which more than 2.5 million U.S. adults were asked about their well-being.
But there is one thing that the Villareals want to make clear.
“Marriage is not just about happiness — it’s about holiness,” they said. “It’s a journey of learning to love as God loves, through joys and struggles.
“If you are discerning marriage, trust in God’s plan, seek good role models and remember that love is a choice we make daily. A strong marriage is built on faith, commitment and the grace of God.”
Because marriage is a sacrament, preparing for it should not be taken lightly.
Pope Francis has even encouraged marriage preparation, most recently in his 2022 “Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life” pastoral guideline for churches.
He also commented on marriage preparation in 2017, in his address to officials in the tribunal of the Roman Rota marking the start of the judicial year: “It is therefore necessary that workers and organizations charged with the pastoral care of the family be motivated by a strong concern for making the preparatory programs for the sacrament of marriage ever more effective, not only for human growth, but above all for the faith of the engaged couple. The fundamental objective of the encounters is to help engaged couples realize a progressive integration into the mystery of Christ, in the church and with the church.”
Closer to home, Hawaii Catholic Engaged Encounter is a marriage preparation weekend retreat program that is available across the islands.
The Villareals are the organizers on Oahu.
Their best advice for couples discerning marriage is to “pray together and talk about everything — faith, finances, children and even daily routines. Make sure you’re both willing to sacrifice and grow together. Love is not just about feelings; it’s about commitment and choosing each other every day.”
And for those who are single but hoping to marry, “become the kind of person you want to marry — faithful, kind and responsible. Trust God’s timing, and don’t rush. A good marriage is worth waiting for.”
