Pua Kaialiilii, her husband and their son are parishioners of Kula Catholic Community on Maui. (Courtesy Pua Kaialiilii)
Nicole Chung, her husband and their daughter attend Our Lady of Good Counsel Church in Pearl City and Blessed Sacrament Church in Pauoa Valley. (Courtesy Nicole Chung)
By Celia K. Downes
Hawaii Catholic Herald
Mother’s Day might be considered by some as little more than a profit-driven “holiday,” but the concept of paying homage to one’s roots — one’s mother — can be traced back to ancient Christian times.
And it’s no surprise to Catholics that the day falls in the month of May, when the church celebrates Mary, the mother of God.
In honor of Mother’s Day, the Hawaii Catholic Herald reached out to a few young women to get their perspective on motherhood and finding balance in their busy lives. They described the joys and challenges of being moms, as well as the support they’ve found in their parishes and ministries.
Pua Kaialiilii of Maui noted that “it’s a bit of a messy balance,” but said that there are also joys in overcoming the challenges.
Kaialiilii, 30, who with her husband are the parents of a 3-year-old son, are parishioners in the Kula Catholic Community, which comprises Our Lady Queen of Angels Church, Holy Ghost Mission and St. James the Less Mission. Kaialiilii also serves as a liturgical minister and youth minister, and is co-coordinator of EPIC Ministry’s Maui chapter.
Being a mom with a packed schedule means that she has had to “learn how to extend grace, mostly to myself.” It was easier before motherhood to do things like keep the house clean, get to church or work on time and go on date nights, but Kaialiilii said she and her husband are also learning new things about themselves.
“My son helps to guide me as a mother to choose patience or to choose grace,” she said.
And when sometimes neither patience nor grace is chosen on particularly stressful days, Kaialiilii said she’ll find herself contemplating, “What would Jesus have done in that situation?”
When asked if her faith has been tested as a mom, Kaialiilii said it’s probably a daily occurrence — however, “I believe that maybe that’s the blessing of having children — is that they literally test you every day.”
“I believe I have been able to stay strong in my faith by remaining active in ministry and finding a community of Catholic young adults and parents to journey with,” she said.
“It helps to know there are other members in our larger EPIC community that are parents as well and I definitely look to them as role models,” Kaialiilii said. “It also helps to have my parents help watch my son during some EPIC events.”
EPIC, which stands for “Ever Present in Christ,” has played a role in many young adults’ lives since it was founded in 2013. Malcom Jay Zara, executive director of EPIC, said the ministry welcomes parents and their children — larger social events include family-friendly activities, and smaller gatherings offer opportunities to socialize and to catch breaks with child care.
“Specifically for young mothers, throughout the year we hold small group (sessions) where mothers are grouped with other mothers where they can more intimately grow in faith, share experiences and insights, and form deeper connections with others going through similar situations,” Zara said. “Many of our members especially appreciate this opportunity as it reminds them that they are never alone in their struggles.”
Nicole Chung of Oahu cited EPIC Ministry as well as the young adult ministry at her parish, Our Lady of Good Counsel in Pearl City, for supporting her during tough periods in her life.
Chung, 38, said she felt called to motherhood over time.
Before meeting her husband, she “thought of marriage and family and decided to work on cardinal virtues that I thought a mother should have.
“I felt as if God was really shaping me throughout those years and eventually I felt ready for the next step in my life.”
Now mom to a nearly 2-year-old daughter, Chung said she finds joy in precious moments, such as when her daughter says prayers and greets statues or their parish with “Hi Jesus!” or “Hi mama!”
Chung and her family attend both Our Lady of Good Counsel and Blessed Sacrament Church in Pauoa Valley. She said she hopes to find a ministry in which she and her husband can participate so their daughter can follow their example.
“My hope is that she finds Christ not just through the church and the sacraments (they will always be there for her) but also through community,” Chung said.
When asked about her hopes for her son and possible future children, Kaialiilii had a similar sentiment.
Her hope is that “they will know and love God and that they see Christ through me and my husband. Should they ever find themselves far from Christ, my hope is that we’ve helped them to know him enough that our children know where to go or who to look to, to find true love.”
