Embracing family
Imagine going to the grocery store and asking a stranger a parenting question. How much credence would we give their advice? Imagine that while our kids wait for a public bus, they ask the stranger next to them for advice about handling a problem at home or school. How comfortable would we be with the advice they received? What if we never knew the advice given, and our kids took the erroneous advice to heart?
Many of us have welcomed strangers into our homes and lives for nearly a decade. We’ve given them carte blanche credibility and unsupervised access to our children. These strangers have strongly influenced our lives.
Alexa and Siri became family members between 2012 and 2014. How old were our children at that time? First, we asked them simple things, such as telling us the weather or setting an alarm, rather than doing it ourselves. Our kids observed with a sense of fascination.
Rarely do we say “please” or “thank you” when speaking with Alexa and Siri. Our kids listened from the other room. Before long, we started to turn to Alexa and Siri for advice about recipes, weekend activities and more. Our kids noticed, even though their headsets were on. As communication with Alexa and Siri increased, communication with our family decreased.
Sure, some technological advancements are intriguing and helpful. However, let’s start to take back our responsibility for parenting! Rather than our kids asking Alexa what time it is, let’s teach them how to tell time (yes, with an hour hand and a minute hand). Rather than having Alexa and Siri inform us about today’s weather, let’s go outside with our kids and look at the sky; when we smell the rain, let’s explain petrichor to them. (If this is a new word, let’s not ask Alexa or Siri! Help our children look it up in the dictionary or online.)
When we need a recipe, have the kids call their grandparents, relatives or neighbors to see if they have a recipe to share. Let’s go to the library or look online for jokes to share rather than rely on Alexa and Siri to find them for us. Let’s talk more with our spouses and children and less with Alexa and Siri.
It’s time to build loving and open relationships with our children, one day at a time. When the time comes for our kids to face more significant challenges, they will turn to us to share or get advice rather than to Alexa or Siri.
For example, I asked Alexa if it is OK to drink alcohol, and Alexa said it was, as long as I did so in moderation. She never mentioned that doing so underage is illegal and what the risks and penalties are.
In 2022, a 45-year-old dad asked Alexa how he could get his kids to stop laughing. Alexa said, “According to an Alexa Answers contributor, if appropriate, you could punch them in the throat. If they are writhing in pain and unable to breathe, they will be less likely to laugh.”
Alexa and Siri get their responses from the internet, and Alexa also draws information from “Alexa Answers,” a crowdsourcing platform that allows anyone with an Amazon account to provide answers. Yes, that’s right. Strangers worldwide (from good, honest people to criminals) are answering our children’s questions and advising them in our homes. While some responses are well-founded, many may be jokes our children take seriously, malicious responses, or immoral advice.
God called us (not Alexa or Siri) to be parents to our children. We can breathe deeply and realize that people have successfully parented their children for generations long before electronic devices existed. We can turn to God, prayer, family and friends to draw the strength we need to succeed at the most important job we’ll ever have: being a parent!
Questions? Please email Sarah and David at Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com.
