EMBRACING FAMILY
Maui, our hearts break with yours. Now, our hearts beat together with yours. Let us kokua. We are here for you. Lean on us. Lokahi. Together we are strong.
Traumatic events are hard for everyone, especially children who may feel overwhelmed and frightened and have not yet learned coping skills for these emotions. While our Maui ohana suffer immensely from the devastating fires, kamaaina on every island also suffer, as well.
How can we best support our children who are dealing with this traumatic event or any other traumatic event?
- Make sure the children feel loved and safe, whether they have been directly or indirectly impacted by fires or other traumatic events.
- Ask the children how they feel about the situation. Listen. Acknowledge their pain and suffering. Thank them for openly sharing.
- Take care of our own emotional health. Role modeling this for the children can help them take care of their own mental and emotional health.
- Be calm and reassuring. If we are anxious, discuss this with a spouse or another adult. Do not discuss your anxiety struggles with our children.
- Maintain as much a sense of normalcy as possible with routines and activities.
- Share basic facts about what transpired and ask them if they have questions. Do not provide graphic details.
- Find moments when we can naturally discuss what has happened, in a casual conversation.
- Avoid news coverage. The images can be disturbing, and the on-going news coverage may make a child feel that the traumatic event keeps going on.
- Listen to our children.
- Practice calming techniques: pray with them and for them, teach them to breathe deeply when they are anxious. Reach out to them in their own love language.
- Acknowledge their feelings of anger, pain and sorrow.
- Allow them the opportunity to grieve any losses.
- Encourage them to turn their pain into blessings for others. How can they help make a difference in the lives of others who are suffering?
If our children continue to struggle with dealing with this traumatic situation, consider seeking professional help from a therapist. Sometimes objectivity can help a child process what has happened and learn to accept it in their own way.
As we get on our knees and ask for God’s healing strength, let’s reflect on the poem “Footprints” where the author noticed that during good times there were always two sets of footprints. During times of sorrow and strife, there was only one. The author questioned why God had abandoned him during his darkest time. But God had not abandoned him; instead, the single set of footprints belonged to God, as he was carrying him in his loving embrace during these most challenging times.
Maui, we are here for you. Kokua. Lean on us for strength. Lokahi.
Here is some feedback from a reader responding to an earlier column, “Preparing for the big day!”
“I’m a parent to several kids, and I would like to think that the last column was describing me, but nothing is further from the truth. I can’t believe that there were many things I was doing that made it harder for our kids to go back to school. I took this challenge to heart: ‘Rather than bemoan the passing of summer bliss, how about if you and your family have a new (school) year celebration!’ We had a New (school) Year party and it helped us focus on the positive!”
Questions? Please email Sarah and David at Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com. We would be honored to lift you up in prayer and respond, as well.
