Sarah and David Herrmann: Real fathers

 

EMBRACING FAMILY

In his apostolic letter “Patris Corde,” Pope Francis said, “Fathers are not born, but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world, but by taking up the responsibility to care for that child. Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another, in some way he becomes a father to that person.”

There have been many inspirational fatherhood role models throughout history: God the Father; St. Joseph, the foster father of Jesus; St. John Bosco, the father and teacher of youth; and St. Thomas More, a devoted spouse and father. Whether someone is a biological father, a foster father, a stepfather, an uncle, a priest, a deacon, a teacher, a coach or a loving person who cares for the well-being of a child, he is called to be a FATHER.

Being a father is a sacred calling, a gift from God. It is a blessing and an honor. It is a continuation of God’s redemptive plan. God shared his Son with the world and entrusted him to Mary and Joseph. God allowed others to raise his own Son, and he was willing to let go, even when it meant Jesus’s death on the cross.

St. Joseph was called by God to raise Jesus. Imagine being tasked with this responsibility! Parents think raising their own kids can be daunting at times. The weight of responsibility St. Joseph felt must have seemed overwhelming — being the foster father for God’s Son! God did not give St. Joseph a special guidebook; rather, St. Joseph had to walk in faith, trusting that God the Father would guide him and that Scripture would lead him. Fathers today are called to walk in faith, guided by Scripture, strengthened by the Sacraments, and supported by their ohana.

A successful father “works himself out of a job” means that the person for whom the father devoted his love, time and energy is ready to live independently as an active Christian and a responsible citizen.

Pope Francis said, “Being a father entails introducing children to life and reality. Not holding them back, being overprotective or possessive, but rather making them capable of deciding for themselves, enjoying freedom and exploring new possibilities.”

What do fathers need to do so that their children are responsible adults? Start early!

Allowing children to make simple decisions daily gives them a healthy sense of control and allows them to practice decision-making.

Allowing them to solve their problems helps them become critical thinkers and problem-solvers.

Allowing them to have consequences helps them become responsible decision-makers.

Teaching them life skills (in age-appropriate ways) starting when they are very young helps prepare them to be successful men and women who feel confident, excited, and ready to venture into the world by the time they are young adults.

Every night when a father puts his head on his pillow, exhausted from the daily demands of fatherhood, he can turn to God in prayer and remember that, as Pope Francis said, “he becomes like Joseph, who always knew that his child was not his own but had merely been entrusted to his care.”

Successful fathers raise men and women, not children. Luckily, they do not have to do this alone, because God is with them every step of the way. Saints’ lives continue to inspire, and caring family, friends, and neighbors are within reach. Yes, it takes a village!

Thank you, fathers and father figures, who continue God’s redemptive plan of salvation each and every day.

Here is feedback from a reader to our column “Parenting is not for wimps”:

“I was having a lousy day when I read this article. I canceled my “pity party” and chose to lovingly hold my children responsible and not rescue them because I was tired of their drama: ‘Truly parenting is not for wimps. It’s for champions and heroes. It’s for you and for us. It’s the hardest but most rewarding job we will ever have.’”

Questions? Please email Sarah and David at Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com. We would be honored to lift you up in prayer and respond, as well!