Sister Karen and her niece
THE MARRIED LIFE
“Consider your own calling, brothers and sisters; not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God.” (1 Corinthians 1: 26-30)
My sister-in-law, who recently died, was one such person. Sister Karen was a nun and much-beloved sister of my husband Tom.
Sister Karen did not look like a movie star. When Karen was a child, she had to have surgery on one of her eyes. Thereafter one of her eyes didn’t rotate like the other. Once, when she was in high school, she tried out to be a baton twirler with the school band. She practiced and practiced in the family’s backyard, but she was not chosen, perhaps because she was not one of the “pretty girls.” She didn’t understand why she wasn’t chosen and cried many tears. But after that, she was always more empathetic toward the downtrodden.
In school Karen tried hard to excel in her school projects, often writing multiple drafts to perfect essays and papers. Later, as an adult, she used her writing skills to write encouraging letters to friends and family all over. Her letters became legendary as she always seemed to know the right words to say for each situation. Our friend received such a note when his wife died. Sister Karen wrote, “Keep on keeping on!”
Sister Karen wasn’t powerful or worldly-wise. But as a high-school forensics teacher, she brought busloads of students to Washington, D.C., and the March for Life. And those students knew what they stood for.
Sister Karen didn’t have much money. As a nun, she was committed to poverty. But she always managed to send small, personalized gifts to her nieces and nephews on their birthdays, and they all loved Aunt Karen.
People were always happy to see Sister Karen. She was cheerful and encouraging and empathized with the common man. She reached out to others and listened and was present to them. Sister Karen was humble.
Family was important to Sister Karen, as it was to the other nuns in her order, the Carmelite Community of the Word. Thus, she was able to come to Hawaii three times; two times for our daughters’ wedding receptions. She loved such occasions and made the most of it. She said her visits to Hawaii were like “international events” compared to her life in Pittsburgh. Her bright smile put people at ease. “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” (Proverbs 15:30)
Her community also allowed Sister Karen to take a year off her pastoral ministry to care for her mother when she had lung cancer.
A few years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer and had to stop working at the parish where she had been the administrator for about 12 years. The parish sponsored a big potluck dinner in her honor, which many, many parishioners attended. Many of them also came to her funeral. Their love for her testified to the difference a simple nun can make in the lives of others.
Every family should have a Sister Karen — someone you can count on; who doesn’t forget you; whose smile, notes and phone calls make you happy. Better yet, maybe we can emulate those qualities ourselves and be that person in our families.
