Herald columnist Mary Duddy, who is behind the white-water spray in this photo, compares married life to running the rapids. Duddy went rafting this summer at Yellowstone National Park with her daughter and grandson. (Photo courtesy of Mary Duddy)
THE MARRIED LIFE
Marriage and family life is not like a scenic cruise going down a river, where you are a spectator enjoying the view. No, it’s more like a white-water rafting trip, where rapids come and go, you need to paddle hard, and you could easily fall out of the boat.
At the beginning of June, my husband and I and our youngest daughter’s family went on a trip to Yellowstone National Park. I asked my daughter ahead of time to arrange for her and me and my seven-year-old grandson to go on a “family friendly” ride down the Yellowstone River.
The first few days we were in the park we frequently drove by the river. The water always seemed to be churned up and rushing. The snow in the mountains had begun to melt and the rivers were full. I began to be concerned. I would comment to Tom, “That looks kind of rough.”
Finally, he said, “I hope you’re not thinking about your rafting trip …”
Of course, I was! He encouraged me to not let fear get the better of me. I agreed.
The night before the rafting trip the agency informed us that we should wear our swimsuits, and they would give us wet suits to wear. The water was still very cold.
When we arrived at the rafting facility there was a big sign on the wall which read, “Wildest ride in the west!” This was not comforting to me. When we entered the building, everyone was trying on wet suits, life vests and swim shoes. I looked around. Most of the people were young and athletic. There were a few other children, but no other grandmother types, like me. I felt out of my league.
After dressing, a bus brought us to the launching site, where group pictures were taken, and we were assigned our rafts. We were given instructions on how to paddle (so much for cruising), and what to do if we fell out of the boat. The rafting director held my hand to help me down the embankment to the water’s edge. After wading in the water, I clumsily climbed into the raft and promptly fell on the floor of the craft. Our guide looked down at me and said, “You’re one brave lady!” At that moment I did not feel brave.
Bravery is certainly not the same as feeling brave. However, I wanted to do this rafting trip out of love for my grandson, and my love for him was stronger than my fear. “Perfect love casts out all fear.” (1 John 4:18)
We sat on the edges of the boat; the crew chief shoved the raft into the water, and off we went! The water was immediately furious; waves splashed all over us. The guide was yelling, “Paddle! Paddle!” I don’t think I will ever forget the sight of the turbulent brown water heading towards us while we rolled up and down.
The first turbulence lasted about 20 minutes. I think I was screaming and praying the whole time, paddling with all my might. We were all soaked.
Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the water became calm. I looked over at my grandson, who was grinning. I heard him say to himself, “That was the funnest thing I ever did!” To hear him say that made everything worth it.
My daughter pointed out that the river was only turbulent 20% of the time and calm 80% of the time. I suppose you could say the same about family life. It is often calm. But it’s the turbulence we fear. “Fear is useless; what is needed is trust.” (Luke 8: 50) With the Lord, calm is restored.
And what do you know, two days after our rafting trip the Yellowstone River and other rivers in the park flooded completely due to the snow melt, and the whole Yellowstone Park was closed. But calm has finally been restored, and most of the park is now reopened.
Like the river, family life has its turbulent times, but with the Lord there are also times of peace.
