THE MARRIED LIFE
Sometimes it’s the small things in life that mean the most. A smile. A kind word. Conversely, a harsh word can cause tears or bitterness. Good humor makes us laugh. Negative humor has a sting that hurts.
Loving in small ways requires thought and grace. It is attentive and caring. It speaks the truth in love. It doesn’t have an agenda.
The saints seem to know the secret of small acts of kindness and patience.
“Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God. Do all that you do with love,” says St. Theresa of Lisieux.
Recently, my husband Tom and I went to a meeting in town, and afterward, when we arrived home in Kaneohe, I realized I had left my purse in town. When I mentioned this to Tom, I expected him to sigh, or show irritation, or send me back on my own to retrieve it, but he just said, “Well, let’s go back and get it.”
Whew! Not only was I relieved, but I thought that was very kind.
A few days later I had the opportunity to return the favor. We were getting lunch at the North Shore when Tom realized his wallet was missing. He hoped it was still in the car, which was a fair walk away, and attempted to pay for our lunch with his credit card link on his phone. Fortunately, there were no other customers at the time as it took several minutes.
But then a man came up with Tom’s wallet asking, “Is this yours?” He had found it on the ground.
Whew! Spared again. Tom said, “See, this can happen to anyone.” Being patient with one another pays off.
One evening Tom and I were at a gathering, and I was talking to a Jewish woman who was telling me fascinating stories about Israel. Then she noticed my drink (Diet Coke) and asked where I got it. I told her I brought it from home and gave her the rest of the can. She seemed surprised and said, “That was so kind of you.” It was a small gesture really, but it clearly meant something to her.
St. John of the Cross says, “The smallest movement of love is more useful to the church than all other works put together.”
Loving in small ways takes forbearance and patience, not just tolerance. Tolerance lasts for a while, but eventually it snaps. Patience is more flexible and requires grace.
Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most. Like, when I come downstairs in the morning and see the dirty pots from the night before cleaned and, in the dish drainer, I know my husband, who doesn’t like to wash dishes, washed them for me.
And if I make lunch for him to bring to work the next day, he is pleasantly surprised.
As St. Theresa of Calcutta says, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
