Memorial to the unborn at Sacred Heart Church, Honolulu. (Photo courtesy of the Respect Life Office)
By the diocesan Respect Life Office
Special to the Herald
Have you ever noticed a memorial for the unborn on your church grounds? If so, when was the last time you meditated or prayed at the memorial for an unborn child or the child’s parents? A memorial for the unborn is a place of love and honor for a child lost to a miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, or an abortion. It is a sign of remembrance and trust.
Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss are more common than realized because parents mostly suffer in silence. As many as one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage before 20 weeks gestation. If you include those lost by infant mortality and those taken in abortion the percentage is even higher.
Memorial to the unborn at Mary, Star of the Sea Church, Waialae-Kahala. (Photo courtesy of the Respect Life Office)
For every mother and father, the loss of an unborn child is stressful, frightening and a very lonely experience. Normally, no funeral or grieving process takes place and, except for support of extended family, community help is almost non-existent. Grief may take a long time to heal.
On March 21, during the feast of the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord, Bishop Larry Silva initiated a rite “to name an infant” in recognition of babies who died before birth. We thank Jayne Ragasa Mondoy, diocesan director of religious education and faith formation, who shared her story and proposed this ceremony by which mothers and fathers would be blessed.
Each mother received a certificate and was asked to name her child. This name was offered up to the Lord, for God is the author of life and calls each of us by name. As prophet Isaiah says in Isaiah 43:1-5, “I have called you by name, and you are mine.”
Memorials at Holy Trinity Church, Kuliouou, (Photo courtesy of the Respect Life Office)
The Knights of Columbus are the major impetus behind the unborn memorials at churches. Memorials vary from a simple plaque to a marble wall with a brass plate inscribed with words of remembrance. Each memorial is unique, requiring prayer and discernment to determine its design and how it will fit into the parish landscape.
A memorial is a reminder of the sanctity of life from conception to natural death, a basic tenet of our Catholic faith.
A child may not have had the opportunity to live a full life, but it is still a precious creation of God. The church offers a blessing for parents. The words assist parents in their grief and console them with the blessings of the Lord: “For those who trust in God, in the pain of sorrow there is consolation, in the face of despair there is hope, in the midst of death there is life. [Father’s name] and [mother’s name], as we mourn the death of your child, we place ourselves in the hands of God and ask strength, for healing and love. Amen.”
The Respect Life Office is encouraging the mounting of parish memorials for the unborn with the help of the Knights of Columbus. It is working with the Co-Cathedral of St. Theresa in Kapalama to place one there.
