CHURCH SOCIAL TIPS
We are just days away from All Hallows Eve, and so many of us will dress up for a party or trick or treating. For the faithful though, Nov. 1, All Saints Day, and Nov. 2, All Souls Day, is really a time to celebrate the models of our faith and those we love who rest with the Lord.
This year All Souls will be more significant for me as God called my husband to heaven last March. In my parish, we create scrolls that are hung in the sanctuary with the names of members of our community who died in the last year. My husband’s name will be there as was my grandmother’s and my parish priest in years past. We also have a Mass of Remembrance for those who have lost someone, which helps us grieve together as a community — such a beautiful experience.
For those who are in the first year of grieving, especially the first holiday season, prayer is so important in helping to get through the emotional minefield on this journey down the path of grief. I deeply felt the prayers of so many during the early weeks of the loss of my husband, and while life goes on for everyone else, the pain endures for those who grieve.
“Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
Being a widow who has felt comfort from the actions of so many, I can now see how true this Scripture verse is. You can bring comfort to those who mourn by doing many little things that help to heal their broken hearts.
- Ask the person who mourns what you can do to help them and follow up with a concrete suggestion if they can’t think of something.
- Request a Mass be said for someone who has died.
- Attend the Mass of Remembrance at your parish church or cathedral.
- Light a candle at church for the deceased and mourner.
- Send a “Thinking of You” card to the mourner that they remain in your prayers.
- When you see the mourner, ask about how the deceased lived not how they died.
- Buy and send books directly to them that help navigate the grief journey.
- Send gift cards for food delivery services like Uber Eats or Door Dash.
- Share Scripture passages like 1 Corinthians 10:13.
- Invite the mourner to have a meal or beverage.
- Tell the mourner about your personal experience during the grief journey.
- Show up for the Masses where their loved one is the prayer intentions.
- Send flowers to the deceased’s gravesite or niche.
- Share a story, picture or memento of the deceased with those who mourn.
- Say the deceased person’s name.
I love the movie “Coco” and the refrain from the song “Remember Me”: “Remember me and let the love we have live on. And know that I’m with you the only way that I can be. So, until you’re in my arms again, remember me.”
Saying the name enlivens the dead in the heart of the person who is living without them.
My parish completely embraced me when I lost my husband. The women’s group came over and asked, “What can we do to help?” While so many assume that you should send flowers, food, cards, money or other things, unless you ask, you really don’t know. I knew that after the funeral was over and the cards stopped coming, that would be when I most needed a connection. So, a sign-up genius was circulated to have someone call me every day for three months. It was amazing to have so many people care enough to call!
“The real widow, who is all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.” (1 Timothy 5:5)
On All Saints’ Day pray for the intercession of the patron of whatever intention you or someone you love needs most. If you are not sure who the patron saint is for what you need, Google it! Whatever you are going through, there is a saint for it!
Pray for me, a widow who puts all her hope in the Lord.
Sherry Hayes-Peirce is a church social media consultant based in California.
