Mary Duddy’s family gathered in North Carolina in 2018 for Thanksgiving. (Photo courtesy Mary Duddy)
THE MARRIED LIFE
As we get further into the fall and as seasons of Advent and Christmas approach, we will have lots of opportunities to celebrate. Family traditions, such as “trick or treating,” Thanksgiving, and Christmas gatherings provide special opportunities to join with extended family and friends. Big or small, let’s make the most of our celebrations this year.
Every family has its traditions. The most important ingredient is love.
When my husband was growing up, their family would drive from the suburbs of New Jersey to inner-city Newark where his widowed Irish grandmother lived in a small apartment. Somehow, she managed to cook a feast in her tiny kitchen, and everyone crowded in together to enjoy it. So much love in so little space.
When we first moved to Hawaii, a local family invited us to share Thanksgiving dinner with them for a couple of years, so we wouldn’t be alone. These occasions together built bonds of friendship with that family that continue to this day. (And that’s where I first learned that rice was a Thanksgiving meal staple!)
Our children loved “trick or treating” with our other good friends and neighbors each year, with whom we also shared annual New Year’s Eve get-togethers. Over the years these happy events, and time with each other, caused our families to unite in a way that made them our “family” in Hawaii.
Never forgetting how open-hearted others were to us when we first arrived in Hawaii, we started our tradition of inviting others to celebrate holiday meals with us when they had no family in Hawaii.
There is always somebody who could use a place to go. Sometimes we’ve had a young, single military person come for dinner. One year four college students from Washington State came over Christmas to play music for a WS football game and they joined us for Christmas Eve dinner. Those times are always memorable.
“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2)
Food is a big part of any celebration, and it takes time to prepare a big meal. That can be half the fun if we involve others. My daughter likes to chop vegetables. I like to clean up as we go. My husband likes to make fancy drinks. My son-in-law is from Madagascar, and he makes special Malagasy dishes: green papaya salad and sahoaba, which is purple sweet potato cooked with coconut milk. We also like to find ways to get the grandchildren involved. Good friends help with clean up. Many hands make light work!
It is also important to not lose sight of those closest to us. During the pandemic, we couldn’t have many people over, and it reminded us how important the nuclear family is. Reaching out also means including those nearest and dearest, and holding them close to our hearts.
May God bless all the holy days and holidays coming up: All Saints and All Souls Day, Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas, and bless our traditions, our families, friends, and all those welcome to the table, especially the table of the Lord.
