‘Enveloped and embraced’
By Anna Weaver
Hawaii Catholic Herald
While only 75 people were able to attend the temporary vows of Sister of St. Joseph of Carondelet Kristina DeNeve on June 15 at the Holy Family Chapel in St. Louis, Missouri, due to COVID-19 and distance, another 150 or so people logged on to the livestream of the service. As the prayer service went on, well-wishers from around the U.S. and the world left congratulatory notes and prayers in the comments section.
Those online supporters included several people from Hawaii, where Sister Kristina lived and worked for six years.
(DeNeve was the Diocese of Honolulu’s Office of Religious Education coordinator for adult faith formation and evangelization from late 2012 until mid-2018.)
Some Sisters of St. Joseph in Hawaii sent non-perishable leis they saved from their jubilee celebrations. Someone also sent a fresh lei, which was a surprise and a treat, Sister Kristina said.
Although social distancing and other COVID-19 precautions meant limiting the numbers at Sister Kristina’s vows ceremony and reception afterward, one benefit was that the way people were spaced in the chapel allowed DeNeve to see every attendee in one glance.
“I felt completely enveloped and embraced by our community, past and present, by the sisters who made their vows and celebrated their jubilees there since the late 1800s,” said Sister Kristina of the feeling she experienced in the chapel at the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet’s motherhouse.
“For over 100 years, that chapel has been the centerpiece for our community and to be surrounded by my loved ones, my family, friends, the community … I can’t articulate how much I felt tangibly embraced by God through the people who were there. It was an experience that I’ll never forget.”
Becoming a sister
DeNeve, 53, is a later-in-life religious. She was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools growing up. DeNeve first thought about becoming a religious sister as a teen and it stayed in her mind as she pursued a career.
She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and theology from St. Ambrose University, a master’s degree in Christian spirituality from Creighton University, and a doctorate in social psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
From 2008 to 2012, she was the director for the Office of Evangelization and Welcoming in the Diocese of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Before that, DeNeve served as an assistant professor and director of undergraduate studies in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Baylor University. While at Creighton University, she ran a program in the theological exploration of vocation, while also teaching, doing research and offering workshops.
She’s been a board member and online presenter for Paulist Evangelization Ministries and on the National Conference for Catechetical Leaders’ evangelization committee. She’s also a certified retreat and spiritual director and is trained to lead individuals through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.
After many years of discernment where she thought she’d marry and have kids, DeNeve ultimately decided that God was calling her to religious life. She’d long said that if she became a sister, she’d want to join the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet because the order was founded by a Jesuit priest and has an Ignatian-like charism. DeNeve did just that in 2019 when she began her formation with the CSJs, as the religious order is nicknamed.
Challenges and surprises
Because DeNeve is originally from Illinois and still has family there, when she entered formation, it made more sense to join the Sisters of St. Joseph’s St. Louis province rather than its Los Angeles province, which was closer to Hawaii and had merged with Hawaii’s vice-province in 2017.
Some of the harder transitions into religious life included having to rehome her cat, Gidget, who is now living a life of adventure, as DeNeve put it, with a former paddling friend who moved to Germany. Her dog, Dexter, now lives with her mom in Arizona.
Living in a community also took some getting used to. While DeNeve had roommates previously, she’d never lived in a house where “you and everyone you live with is devoting their entire lives to the Gospel.”
“That takes on a really special blessing and also presents challenges of course because we are all very different.”
As she had hoped, Sister Kristina said she grew immensely as a person over her two years of novitiate.
“These years have been so much of a coming into myself and a deepening and stretch of my identity,” she said.
“I’ve cried more tears in the last two years than just about any other two-year period of my adulthood … But they were growth-filled tears,” Sister Kristina said, laughing at how happy mingled with sad during her formation.
COVID-19 also added an unexpected dynamic to DeNeve’s time as a novice.
She spent the first year of her novitiate with other Sisters of St. Joseph in Rochester, New York, but when the pandemic hit, her classes went online. DeNeve then returned to St. Louis to complete her second year of formation, known as the apostolic year, studying at Fontbonne University and living at the motherhouse.
While the apostolic year for the religious order usually includes going out into the community to serve, the pandemic meant that Sister Kristina instead held virtual group sessions with women transitioning out of prison.
Luckily no sisters at the St. Louis motherhouse caught COVID-19, and DeNeve said it was good to be able to quarantine with a group of others so there was still a chance to socialize and not be isolated.
“I feel I was very privileged during the pandemic because I had no insecurity of food and housing … and supportive people all around me,” she said, noting that many around the world did not have that.
Now that she has taken temporary vows, Sister Kristina has been missioned to Fontbonne University as academic affairs program director and instructor. She will also move into a smaller CSJ community home in the area with several other sisters.
After another three years of formation, living in community, and being missioned to jobs, Sister Kristina and her religious order will discern together whether she is ready to take permanent vows, whether she should continue longer in temporary vows, or if she should leave the religious order.
“God willing, I will be living the rest of my life in this community,” Sister Kristina said.
And at some point, in the next year or two, she knows she’ll be back in Hawaii for a visit.
“I miss the people of Hawaii,” she said “I’m looking forward to having my feet on that sacred ground once again.”