Sarah Plant comforts her grandmother, Barbara Lant, who awaits treatment at Milton Keynes University Hospital in England June 26, 2018. “If we had to pay for health care, we wouldn’t have been able to afford it. I don’t really want to think about what it would have been like,” said Plant. (CNS photo/Hannah McKay, Reuters)
EMBRACING FAMILY
Have you ever found yourself looking to the Fourth Commandment, “Honor your father and your mother,” as a remedy to the many challenges we face as parents?
Our sweet, innocent newborns grow and discover a whole new lexicon. “NO!” or “I can do it all by myself!” They make incessant messes which seem to happen right after we finish cleaning! They get ever louder, just in time for the consecration at Mass. They have meltdowns at the store.
If only our kids would obey, everything would be easier. Oh, how we miss the glorious baptism days, which we remember with such reverie — all smiles and sweetness!
In reality, the Fourth Commandment is not intended to take away our struggles as parents. Instead, we should look at it carefully: “Honor your father and mother.” That’s right. It’s not about us as parents being the recipient of the love and respect of our children. It’s about us giving that love and respect to our parents and significant others. It’s about us honoring them.
What are we doing to honor our parents as they age? Are we spending time with them? Do we show love and gratitude? Have we forgiven them for any past hurts? While our parents may enjoy lending a hand with the grandchildren, are we appreciative of their kindness and generosity, or do we take them for granted? How will we support them as their health declines? What care is in their best interests, not what is the most convenient for us?
As we celebrate Mother’s and Father’s Day, let’s remember that while as parents we may look forward to a day of being spoiled, it’s not about us! It’s about us honoring our parents and grandparents — whether they are still alive, or whether they have gone before us.
What legacy have we received from our parents/grandparents?
- Unconditional love?
- Faith?
- Service?
- Commitment?
- Perseverance amidst trials?
- Traditions?
- Stories?
- Skills?
- Recipes?
- Family tree?
- Photos?
- Time together?
Let’s thank them for that inheritance they have shared, maybe with a letter or poem. If they have already passed, we could share this in prayer, inviting our spouses and children to join. If they are still alive, we can share it with them in person or via video chat.
After doing so, reflect on what we want to continue and change, so that we intentionally choose the legacy we want to leave to our children. It is never too early or too late to do so! If they are in utero or if they are already adults, we still have time to determine the legacy we wish to leave, giving honor and respect to our parents who positively impacted our lives.
We’d love to hear from you, Hawaii Catholic Herald readers. How will you choose to thank your parents and grandparents for the legacy they have given you? What legacy do you want to leave your children? How will you share this with them?
If you have questions you would like addressed in “Embracing Family,” email them to Success@EmbraceFamilyLearning.com and we would be honored to lift you up in prayer and respond as well! If desired, you may remain anonymous.
