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I AM A DEACON
By Deacon Fred Carahasen Jr.
Coming out of quarantine to assist at Mass has been a joyful and humbling experience for me. The last time I served at Mass and preached the homily was Feb. 16. Who would have known that it would not be until June 20 that I would be able to preach again at the ambo.
I was fortunate and I count my blessings everyday that I was not furloughed at my workplace. I continued to work during the quarantine. Prior to being transferred to another work location, I worked in Waikiki where our company provided essential work for the hotel we had a contract with.
I saw the gradual shut down of the various departments that are essential in the smooth running of a hotel, from the front counter reception area, the bell service, events, catering and food services to housekeeping where the majority of the people work. Also, I should not forget the many vendors, gift and sundry shops, food stores and restaurants, all a part of this hotel, that rely on the tourists for their livelihood and survival.
But what affected me the most by this shutdown was the heartbreaking stories and concerns of the people that I have come to consider my friends since I first started at the hotel. I saw the sadness in their faces and felt their pain and concerns about how they were going to pay their mortgages, rent, monthly bills and put food on the table. I know how they felt because I felt the same concerns more than once when I lost jobs in the past.
All I could do was listen to their concerns, offer them hope and encourage them to never give up, to always trust and have faith in God that all this will pass and we will come out of this pandemic stronger and wiser than before. I continue to pray for their wellbeing.
Perhaps what I missed most about being quarantined was serving at Mass as a deacon and celebrating the Eucharist with our pastor Father Arnold Ortiz and parochial vicar Father Romple Emwalu. Attending virtual Mass on Sunday did not satisfy my hunger for the real presence of the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
For me, as well as for all Catholics, the Eucharist is the foundation and summit of our faith. For me especially, the Eucharist is at the very heart of my faith in God. This is what I was missing in my spiritual life during the quarantine.
But as they say, for everything that goes bad in your life there is good that comes out of it. You just have to look for it. This pandemic and quarantine caused me to step back and reflect and take a deeper look into my relationship with Jesus Christ. It caused me to go deeper into my very being, my soul, through prayer, to be silent and to listen to Christ with my heart.
This deeper prayer and awareness of Christ in the silence of my heart has made me more compassionate, charitable and humble as I return to serve my brothers and sisters at the altar and most importantly in the “marketplace.”
At my ordination Bishop Larry Silva handed me the Book of The Gospel and told me to: “Believe what you read, teach what you believe, practice what you teach.”
This pandemic has forced me to stop, pause and slow down. It is teaching me to be more patient, to be grateful. It is reminding me of what is important in life. In this challenging and uncertain time I am humbled and thankful for the graces received at ordination to be able to serve and minister to my brothers and sisters and to be together again in community in person.
The “I am a deacon” column is published occasionally as submissions come in from Hawaii’s permanent diaconate community. Deacon Fred Carahasen Jr. is assigned to St Elizabeth Church, Aiea.
