Tiffany Welch with her daughters Addison, Peyton and Lydia. (Photo courtesy of Lydia Welch)
Though the pandemic has put Easter Vigil initiations on hold, two Oahu families are eager and waiting to become Catholic
By Anna Weaver
Hawaii Catholic Herald
For Tiffany Welch, it was a surprising statement by her preschooler. For Jason and Victoria Castiglione, it was going on a marriage retreat.
Both experiences led these Hawaii residents to start the process of joining the Catholic Church along with their children. Here are their stories.
Circling back
Tiffany Welch knew that it was time to take another look at the Catholic Church when her 5-year-old daughter, Peyton, came home from school and said she wanted to talk to Jesus.
“I don’t know where it came from!” said the military spouse, who lives with her active duty Army husband, Adam, and three girls at Schofield Barracks in Wahiawa. This was especially out-of-the-blue because neither she nor her husband practiced any faith or had raised their daughters to be religious.
“I instantly broke down and realized I didn’t know how to answer her questions about Jesus and God,” Welch said.
But she did know where to turn for help. She went online and looked up nearby Catholic churches. She picked Catholicism over other Christian denominations because as a teen she’d started the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults after going to midnight Mass with a friend.
“I remember crying through the service and feeling like my whole world suddenly made sense, that piece of me I had been missing I found in the Catholic Church,” Welch remembered.
She made it through almost a year of the RCIA process before life got in the way and she dropped out. Welch had a daughter Lydia, now 13. She joined the Army — and later got out. She married Adam, a fellow soldier from her hometown, with whom she had daughters, Addison, 8, and Peyton, 5.
“I never really thought about [church] again until my daughter brought it up,” Welch said.
The first parish she landed on, St. John Apostle and Evangelist in Mililani, felt right.
“After I went there, I didn’t need to go anywhere else,” she said.
In October, she and her daughters started attending weekly Mass and going to RCIA and children’s religious education classes.
Although she regrets not finishing the RCIA process all those years ago, she says, “I’m kind of glad that I waited because going through it with my kids has been probably the best part of it.”
The Welch family minus husband Adam. (Photo courtesy of Tiffany Welch)
The girls are teaching her things from their classes and vice versa. Going to St. John has also helped them feel more at home in Hawaii, something that has been a bit of a struggle for them as a military family far from home, coping with the higher cost of island living, school bullying and Adam’s demanding Army schedule where he often is away.
“Tiffany has the added stress of being both Mom and Dad, as well as trying to lead her children in faith, all the while struggling to understand it herself,” said Nadine Wheeler, a St. John RCIA teacher to whom Welch has grown close.
Welch and Wheeler often exchange texts outside of class with Welch asking faith questions and sharing what she and the girls are doing, such as setting up a Lenten prayer space. Wheeler calls her “our warrior princess.”
“I encouraged her to speak her mind and not be afraid to challenge us as catechists. The process can be a difficult one, when there is no family or friends to help you through it,” Wheeler said by email.
“We shared with her that we are all in this together. She is not expected to have ALL the answers BEFORE becoming Catholic. Seasoned Catholics awkwardly stumble through each challenge that life presents themselves.”
The COVID-19 virus pandemic has put on hold all public Easter Vigils and sacraments of initiation in the Diocese of Honolulu. Welch and her two oldest daughters were supposed to receive the sacraments at St. John’s on April 11. Now they will wait until churches reopen.
Husband Adam is supportive but not interested in becoming Catholic at this time. Peyton’s baptism is planned for after he returns from his current deployment to Thailand, so he can attend.
After her own faith journey, Welch hopes she can volunteer in parish faith formation in the future.
“It’s been truly amazing to be able to take this spiritual journey with my daughters and experience so many firsts with them as well and to watch their faith and knowledge about Jesus grow,” she said.
The right fit
Jason, Victoria, Max and Sam Castiglione at their Kailua home. (HCH Photo | Anna Weaver)
A few years ago, Jason and Victoria Castiglione were struggling in their marriage. They’d moved to Hawaii for work, had two small boys, Max, now 8, and Sam, now 11, and had no family support in the islands.
Two careers, two kids, and one new state had made the couple’s marriage enter “survival mode,” according to Victoria. So she went online to look at marriage retreats and came across Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a Catholic-based marriage weekend.
Neither Jason nor Victoria were Catholic — Jason was raised in the Assemblies of God church though no longer practicing, and Victoria had never practiced a particular religion — but the weekend was open to all.
“I think we were the only non-Catholics at the retreat,” Victoria said. They both loved Marriage Encounter’s focus on positive communication and moving forward, not rehashing old problems. The concept of marriage as a sacrament was also new and appealing to the pair.
The retreat set their marriage on a better path, one that eventually led them to join the Catholic Church themselves.
Talking with a surfing buddy about religion got Jason thinking and reading about faith more and discussing it with Victoria. Much to the chagrin of their young sons, who had to get up early on Sunday, the family started checking out various Christian churches.
A nondenominational church and a Baptist church didn’t feel right. An Orthodox service seemed to lack engagement with the congregation. Next, the family looked at two Catholic parishes and ended up at Sacred Hearts in the Manoa-Punahou area.
It was the right combination of “sacred tradition and Scripture,” Jason said. “I just love its message of reflecting light.”
“For me, it was the perfect blend of the two — plenty of tradition and structure, but also it made me feel more a part of what they were doing during the Mass,” Victoria said, as far as participatory prayers and songs.
The Castigliones like the church’s message of positivity and its challenge to go out and do good in the world. They also love Sacred Hearts’ pastor, Father EJ Resinto.
“Jason and Victoria and the boys are a delight to journey with,” said Father Resinto in an email, adding that the parish RCIA team found the family to be “very inquisitive about the faith and zealous in learning.”
“I personally have had some great conversations about their faith journey and conversion,” he added. “I am looking forward as pastor to using them in ministry in our parish.”
COVID-19 has also delayed the Castigliones’ Rites of Initiation until the pandemic passes. Jason was supposed to enter into full communion with the church, and Victoria and the boys to be fully initiated, at the Easter Vigil at Sacred Hearts on April 11. But they know they will be Catholic one way or another.
“How we got here was by the grace of God, nothing else,” Jason said. “I’m just completely thankful to be where we’re at now.”
