Photo: Jaco Pretorius, Unsplash
THE MARRIED LIFE
My mom used to say it was the Lord’s sense of humor that she had to cook for a large family since she never liked to cook. She had the one-hour rule for dinner. That is, it had to take one hour or less to prepare. She didn’t want to spend all her time in the kitchen.
Dad used to tease her about this. “What’s for dessert dear? Cherries jubilee?!” Mom would roll her eyes and we would all laugh.
Dinner time was a lot more fun when Dad brought humor to the table. One afternoon when we kids were acting up Mom declared, “Wait until your father gets home!” So when we sat down to eat, after grace, Mom started to tell Dad all the things we had done wrong that day. He held up his hand and said, “Why don’t we wait until after dinner to hear the bad news?” Somehow that took the thunder out of things, and we all had a pleasant dinner. And by the time dinner was over, Mom had calmed down and the woes didn’t seem so bad.
Mom had her times of lightheartedness too. If Dad had a difficult day at work he was quiet at the dinner table and more likely to send you to your room if you were acting up. One time he had already sent two children to the bedroom and was about to send a third when mom said, “Oh Phil, that’s enough!” It made Dad smile sheepishly and call everyone back to the table.
If Dad came home and the kids were wound up, he could tell Mom had a hard day. And if Dad was quiet, mom knew he had a hard day. They helped each other with humor.
One evening at dinner, Dad told us the story of Mom calling him at work. He had been in the middle of a conference meeting with several other businessmen. His secretary called saying, “Mr. Hendrick, your wife is on the line.” Dad took the call because women hardly ever called their husbands at work in those days.
When Mom’s voice came through, she started to loudly expound on the troubles of the day.
“I pressed my ear to the phone so no one could hear what was going on!” Dad said. We all laughed, picturing our father with the phone pressed to his ear.
Mom, in her defense, said, “Well, it was an emergency!” Somehow that made us laugh too since we couldn’t recall any emergencies that day.
However, dad assured us all, “Your Mom may seem to fall apart over little things, but she always comes through in a crisis.”
Dad didn’t have to travel much for his job so he was almost always home for dinner. But one time he had to go on a two-day business trip, which involved flying there and back. Mom said, “I had a dream last night that your plane crashed, so I don’t think you should go.”
Dad was quiet for a few seconds, then said, “If I paid attention to all your dreams I’d never go anywhere.” Mom didn’t respond, and Dad went on the trip.
Mom frequently described things in dramatic language. “A big, huge, humongous truck …”
“Three adjectives?!” Dad would interject. “Wouldn’t one adjective be enough?
“Oh no,” Mom would respond, “You wouldn’t get the full picture.”
“I think I would,” Dad replied.
Pope Francis says that Christians should be joyful, not sad. Laughter makes life more fun. (Not negative humor, however, which is hurtful.) My parents modeled a healthy humor, which certainly made life more enjoyable.
My grandfather used to say, “As long as you have your sense of humor you’re doing okay. When you lose your sense of humor you know you’re in trouble!”
Mary Duddy is moderator of the tribunal of the Diocese of Honolulu.
