By Patrick Downes Hawaii Catholic Herald
Kauai Deacon Thomas Patrick Contrades of Kapaa, whose big heart and selfless spirit won him the respect and love of his community, died on Feb. 24. He was 67 and a deacon for 10 years.
Bishop Larry Silva presided at his funeral Mass March 4 at St. Raphael Church, Koloa, where the deacon was assigned for the past nine years. He was buried in the old St. Raphael Parish cemetery, which he was instrumental in restoring and maintaining.
Born in Lihue on Aug. 29, 1949, Contrades attended St. Catherine Grade School in Kapaa and spent several years at St. Stephen High School Seminary on Oahu before graduating from Kapaa High School. He then attended Chaminade College of Honolulu.
Ordained to the permanent diaconate in 2007, he was first assigned to Immaculate Conception Parish in Lihue for a year before being sent to St. Raphael.
“He absolutely loved being a deacon,” his wife Jaqueline Contrades told the Hawaii Catholic Herald by phone last week.
He only wished he had become a deacon earlier in life, she said. “He loved his church. He loved his faith. He was willing to do just about anything to help others.”
Jaqueline, who accompanied her husband throughout his diaconate training and joined him and other deacon couples in the training of new deacons, said her husband did just about everything a deacon does and more.
“He did baptisms, weddings, the training of altar servers, bereavement ministry, annulments. He did a lot,” she said. For him, being a deacon meant “being a servant.”
He was also in charge of maintenance of the church and the church grounds.
Retired from his job as a business agent for the International Longshore and Warehouse Union (ILWU), he spent a lot of his time at the church, Jaqueline said.
Deacon John Coughlin, who had been in the same 2007 ordination class as Contrades, became a close friend.
“He and Jackie, as a team, really worked hard in their parish. They became an integral part of the Koloa community,” he said, even though it wasn’t their home parish.
“They became very active in Engaged Encounter,” Coughlin said. He had a “very deep interest in helping couples prepare for marriage.”
“He also would reach out to people who felt alienated from the church, bringing their marriages into compliance,” he said.
“He had an instinct for people and their needs,” he said, “always putting his needs second.”
“The loss is deeply personal,” Coughlin said. “We journeyed with him in the last two months of his illness.”
Contrades called Coughlin a few days before he died.
“I knew that that was the farewell,” Coughlin said. “That he thought about me in the midst of his suffering really touched me.”
He said Contrades spoke in a “whisper” that was “more of a presence than a conversation. He really gave us a good example of how to bear suffering and to place others against self.”
Contrades asked Deacon Michael Shizuma of Molokai, another diaconate classmate, to preach at his funeral.
“Tommy loved the Beatitudes, he embraced them and he made them the foundation of how he chose to live his life,” said Shizuma in remarks prepared for his homily. “In the Beatitudes, we see the very heart of God.”
“Tommy saw that so clearly and he told me to tell everyone at his funeral that these teachings are what guided his walk with the Lord,” Shizuma said. “These teachings bought him closer to the Lord and these teachings allowed him to reflect the Glory of God in all that he did.”
Shizuma said that the first time he met Contrades, he reminded him of a “knight in shining armor because of the gifts and the talents he shared.”
“The thing about knights,” he said, “they serve a king, and Tommy served our King, our God, with every fiber of his being.”
Deacon Contrades was very active in community affairs. He volunteered as a chaplain for the Kauai Police Department and served on several government commissions including the County of Kauai Planning Commission, the Hawaiian Homes Commission and the State Land Use Commission.
The deacon had also been a volunteer with the Kauai United Way, Hale Opio, Kauai Economic Opportunity, Na Kupaa O Kuhio, and the Boy Scouts of America.
Besides his wife, he is survived by their six children, Michael (Darlene) Contrades, Elisabeth (Dayne) Tomori, Jennifer (Joshua) Leines, Timothy (Melissa) Contrades, Tyrus (Erica) Contrades, and Jessica Contrades (Brianna Borrero).
He is also survived by his hanai children Rozlyn Ladera and Kehaulani Ching; grandchildren Micah Contrades, Courtney Contrades, Joseph Contrades, Brennen Contrades, Tyzen Contrades, Lucy Leines, Gavin Leines, Mahealani Huddy, Koa Yamamoto, and Kailani Yamamoto; and siblings Stanley (Jean Yim) Contrades, Patricia Happek, Monica Contrades, Susan (Dennis) Brooks, Therese Staszkow, Annette (Steven) Manaday, Robert Contrades and Lisa Curtin.
