IN LITTLE WAYS
The Long’s in downtown Hilo is a busy one, and the parking lot is usually full. The search for an empty stall often tempts drivers to ignore the directional arrows. The result can be two cars nose to nose with no room to maneuver. Few of those drivers would ignore arrows out on the road, but apparently Long’s doesn’t command the same degree of obedience.
Perhaps that’s because obedience is an unpopular virtue in America. We prefer the rebel and the individualist. We’re quite comfortable disobeying laws we consider unreasonable. The current debate over legalizing marijuana implies that it’s hard to come by. Actually, it may be easier to obtain pot in America than gas without ethanol.
Questioning authority can be healthy but so is a willingness to put the needs of others ahead of our personal desires. Obeying the rule of law is what protects us from the tyranny of the strong.
The virtue of obedience is essential in our personal lives as well. I worry when I hear parents justifying their decisions to their children. Naturally, we want children to appreciate that our rules are intended for their welfare. However, there is also a place for “because I said so” in parenting. There’s no time for explanations when a child is holding a lit firecracker, and teenagers will debate your rules forever if you let them.
We adults also benefit from obedience. I have only the vaguest idea what cholesterol is and why I need to worry about it. My doctor, though, is a smart lady, and if she says I need to cut back on fats, I’d be foolish not to obey her.
It would be even more foolish not to listen to the Church. Her doctrines and practices reflect centuries of experience and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. For example, left to my own devices, I would probably not attend Mass weekly or pray daily. I’d let momentary feelings control my spiritual life.
However, I’ve learned through personal experience how easy it is to lose the habit of church attendance and daily prayer. The less I pray, the more reluctant to pray I become. God feels too distant. Because I haven’t been all that interested in God, I assume he’s also lost interest in me. I avoid prayer because I’m ashamed of how long it’s been.
Fortunately, I belong to the Church and am committed to obeying her laws. Therefore, I say my prayers morning and night, even when I’m tired, bored, distracted or angry. I show up on Sunday even when it’s raining, I’d rather sleep in or I’ve got a guilty conscience.
I’ve learned, through my obedience, that my relationship with God requires the same nurturing I give my human relationships. A strong marriage is the product of thousands of hours of sleeping, eating and talking together. The bond between parent and child, siblings or friends also requires care and attention. When a crisis arises, we turn to those we trust, and trust takes time to develop.
Without this habit of obedience, I could never do the hard things God sometimes requires of me. I could not forgive someone who has hurt me. I could not acknowledge my own sins and ask for forgiveness. I could not give my money to strangers in need.
Obedience teaches trust, and trust inspires obedience. We don’t always know why Mom, the pope or God tells us to do something difficult. However, we trust them, so we obey, and we’re eventually glad that we did. Obedience can be its own reward, even in the Long’s parking lot.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo 96720, or email: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
