As an extrovert, I am constantly on the go. It is really hard to stop the brain from thinking, the limbs from moving, everything from just going, and to simply be. And yet, when I do take time to turn off and tune out, emptying myself of any accountability to anyone or unnecessary talk, I have found my life more enriched by the praise and thanksgiving that overflow.
It is not easy to just stop everything. I learned early on, however, that if I do not take time every quarter of the year, even if it is just a day off, little things will start to irritate me. That is the biggest indicator. I know myself well enough now to know that if I see you, for example eating a cookie in a particular way, or leaving crumbs on the table, and these set me off, it is time to pull back.
In the healthcare field we have a code for this type of break day outside of one’s normal vacation or other scheduled time off. We call it “Nervous and Mental,” an “N&M” day. That is when I usually let my boss know ahead of time, “Little things are beginning to get to me and if it is okay, I will be taking this particular day.”
If I am going to take it at home, I try to plan it around everyone else’s schedule, to find a time when no one else will be there. Or I might just get in the car and go by the sea to just be. It is a time to do nothing, absolutely and fabulously, nothing. I have also learned to do it in public, in the sense that I might go home and tell my community that I need to turn it off and not speak. Sometimes they think that I am sick as they are used to my talking. But, there is no rudeness meant. It is that I really do not have any extra words to share at that time.
There is great spirituality in knowing when to turn it off. If I do not respect this physical need, I cannot re-energize. When I am with God, I am with God in the sense of dedicating time to God. And when I pause to stop everything, it literally is a shutting off from all the external stimuli and letting God lead me deeper. It is the goodness of God that I see in others that inspires and motivates me. With this time set apart, I am led to reflect more and give thanks for the little and great things that happen in my life. Where I can prayerfully review, for example, the look on a person’s face caught in a timeless frame of grateful remembrance of another sister. I thank the Lord that I was there at that time to meet them and to be entrusted to pass that message on. Taste and see the goodness of the Lord!
Sister Cheryl Wint is a Franciscan Sister of the Neumann Communities. She made her final profession in August at St. Augustine Church in Waikiki where she works as a pastoral associate. She resides with her community at Marianne Cope Convent in Liliha.