Here are excerpts from the text of Father Michael Owens’ homily for the funeral of Carmelite Sister Teresita Tam, Aug. 28, at Carmel of the Holy Trinity Monastery at St. Stephen Diocesan Center. Sister Teresita died Aug. 19.
Look into the eyes of a contemplative nun or monk and you see a special glimmer or fire, for they see the face of God and are alive with his love. They see the world, and us, not with their own eyes but the eyes of God and we see God’s love in their eyes. This is both wonderful and frightening, because they see as us we are. They see not only into our hearts and souls but our entire being. It’s wonderful because their gaze attracts and invites us to be pulled into their lives to share the glory of God which they possess. It is frightening because they see not only the good in us, but the bad. We become vulnerable and frightened by them, wanting to run away from them.
Anyone who ever met Sister Teresita knew this Divine Sight. She had very beautiful, sparkling eyes. Her face radiated God’s loving presence and you felt blessed to be with her, sharing the depth of her joy and happiness reflected in her smile, which was always on her face. You knew being with her you were also with God. I think it is for this reason that she was entrusted with greeting those who came to visit the Carmelites in their parlor. Right away you felt welcomed and at ease. Even when she was no longer able to speak these last couple of years, all who visited her were amazed at her gaze of joy, love and peace.
One evening when I was working with her, I asked how long she had been in the convent. She told me that once you fell in love with God and you opened yourself to him — letting him give himself completely to you and you trying to give completely to him — time didn’t matter. You stopped counting. Sister was 95 years old when she died.
Sister Teresita lost her father when she was about 3 and her mother soon after. She was raised by her oldest sister. One day her sister had some work to do and left Sister Teresita alone but within sight. She began to cry. Sister Teresita realized, as she often shared later, that if she looked through her tears in a certain angle she saw the colors of the rainbow. She realized that even in the most difficult and painful moments of life, there is still goodness. God is present. As Julian of Norwich writes, “All will be well.” This experience became the foundation of her life, faith and prayer.
Impressed by her spiritual life, her bishop interviewed her and consented to her receiving her First Holy Communion at the age of 4 or 5. She entered Carmel when she was 15. She spent 80 years as a Carmelite, the first 40 in Canton, China and Stanley, Hong Kong. The remaining 40 were spent here in Hawaii. She truly was a witness of God’s everlasting covenant with us, and we with him.
While in the care home, a young child visited her and gave her two stuffed toys — a puppy and a bear. She named the stuffed puppy, “God loves me.” … If a dog reminds us of faithful love, a bear reminds us of strength, fortitude and protection. Sister Teresita named the stuffed bear, “Thy will be done.”
Her life was not an easy one, though I never knew this until after her death, for she hid it so well behind those glistening eyes and welcoming smile. Her years in the care home had to be especially challenging. For someone who loved being outside, among nature, especially her orchids and bonsai trees, the care home and the limits of her health had to be confining and imprisoning.
Sister Teresita died alone, so peacefully that when the sisters went to visit her they thought she was in a deep sleep, pleasantly dreaming with a smile on her face of joy, contentment, serenity and peace. They were to realize it wasn’t a dream. Sister had died.
The reality was that she was with her God, her Friend, Beloved and Spouse. Could anything be better? In her arms, the sisters discovered, she clutched and embraced to her heart the stuffed bear she had named, “Thy will be done.” Her heart was united in God’s heart. It was her last message to us.
Father Michael Owens came to know the Carmelites in the mid-1970s when he was a seminarian at St. Stephen Seminary where the sisters have their monastery. During this time he helped with the monastery landscaping and assisted Sister Teresita with her ceramic work. Now retired, he is back living at what is now called St. Stephen Diocesan Center.
