What would you pay to be forgiven for shoplifting? What if I told you that all your sins could be forgiven? Now what would you pay? But wait, there’s more! For a limited time only, God will not only forgive your sins but will also provide you with the grace to resist sin in the future. Don’t delay. Call your nearest Christian church today.
The Blood of Christ — Shed for you to the very last drop.
“Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” If you have a life, you need PrayerSupport. PrayerSupport responds promptly to medical emergencies, final exams, IRS audits, air turbulence and scores of other scary moments. Saints, angels and living Christians are standing by 24/7 to lift you up body and soul. Contact us today to activate your own personal PrayerSupport network. PrayerSupport is a service of the Christian church. Accept no imitations.
Midnight Mass — because nobody doesn’t like Baby Jesus.
“Do you know me? My name gets used a lot when someone drops the ball or spills the milk. I hang on a million crucifixes in a million churches. Thousands of Hispanic kids share my name. But do you know me? If not, let’s talk.” A message from Jesus of Nazareth.
“Look Ma, no sins!” See the smile on that kid’s face? How long has it been since you went to confession?
Can you hear me on a busy street? Good. Can you hear me at the beach? Good. Can you hear me at work? Good. Can you hear me at home? Good. Having trouble hearing me? Come to church. I’m always here. Christ the Lord. I never stop calling for you.
Jesus — Because God cared enough to send the very best.
“Baptism, Confirmation, Marriage, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Holy Orders, Anointing of the Sick — celebrate the moments of your life with us.” Brought to you by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Prayer — when you absolutely, positively need God’s help.
You don’t like it when we ring your doorbell. You don’t like it when we say grace before meals. You don’t like it when we leave Bibles in hotel rooms. You don’t like it when we say we’ll pray for you. So why do Christians do these things? Because friends don’t let friends miss out on the Gospel.
The Church is God’s way of leaving the light on.
Picture a cracked egg. That’s your soul. Picture an Easter egg. That’s your soul after you invite Jesus in. Any questions?
Morning prayer — don’t leave home without it.
I want to be someone who loves the Savior.
That is what I’d really like to be.
Cuz if I am someone who loves the Savior,
God can send his love to you through me.
Religious education — Kid tested. Blessed Mother approved.
Prayer — Those nighttime crying pacing sighing regretting upset frightened feelings so you can rest medicine.
If you can give a dime, you can give a dollar. If you can say you’re sorry, you can make amends. If you can bite your tongue, you can speak with kindness. If you can hear the Gospel, you can help a stranger. If you can weep at sunsets, you can praise the Lord. If you can dream of heaven, you can follow Christ. Holiness — just do it.
RCIA — You’ve got questions; we’ve got answers.
Someday the Energizer bunny will stop, Coke will go flat and McDonalds will go vegan. On that day, when you realize just how empty the world’s promises are, turn to me. I’m Jesus Christ, savoir of the world, and my father approved this promise.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
