‘This too shall pass’
Hospital ministry is a heavy ministry. It is not easy to be around the sick and dying all the time. Emotions can run high, and exhaustion can follow. What are some of the things I do to keep on going?
First of all, I have discovered how important it is to make sure that I rest when I need to. Basically, I am learning to say, “No.” For example, on my days off, if people want me to do some other things as a priest, I say “No.” I couldn’t say that before. As hard as it is, and as heartbreaking as it can be for some people sometimes, I say “No.” Why? Simply, because I also need a time of rest myself. If I don’t take it, I will not be able to minister as well as I otherwise would be able to at the hospital.
Secondly, I golf and do enjoy it. Sometimes, if I am feeling stressed out, I will go to the driving range and hit a bucket of balls by myself. As an introvert, I find that this is one way I help myself to recharge so that I can give more to others.
Of course, there is time for prayer. Every morning and every evening, I take time for prayer. For me, prayer isn’t about words. It is simply sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament and just being for a while. This is a good way to gain strength for the day, as well as to close the day before retiring.
I also like to find things to laugh about. I am not good at telling jokes. But I like funny movies and reading funny stories. In the hospital, if I sense with the patients that is okay, I try to make them laugh or smile — offering a little bit of this medicine.
Some advice for you? If your loved one is in the hospital and comatose or cannot respond, the sense of hearing is the last to go. So, spend time talking to them and letting them know how much you love them. I have witnessed a number of patients who seemed unable to respond, start tearing when I pray aloud or anoint them.
In your walk with God, also learn to not beat yourself up. I used to say, “I should be stronger,” “I should be more faithful,” “I should be here or there.” Stop. These thoughts will make it harder for you to follow in faith. Rather, accept that this is where you are now and make a daily choice to grow closer to God. When I first started in hospital ministry, I struggled. My mind thought it was only a temporary assignment until I got into a parish. I have since come to accept that this is the ministry God has given to me for the present, and that these are the people God has given me to care for. This change of perspective makes my work lighter.
Lastly, remember the saying, “This too shall pass.” With the Lord’s help I can get through the tough times. When things are good, I know they shall also pass away. So I enjoy and appreciate everything.
Diocesan priest Father Jon Cabico has been a chaplain for Honolulu hospitals for more than two years. Ordained in 2009, he resides at the rectory at the Co-Cathedral of St. Theresa.
