A Maui man’s book-length meditation on Christian matrimony, inspired by the faltering and recovery of his own 40-plus-year-old marriage, is a work of both spiritual reflection and practical advice for others who are married.
The 187-page “Fruits of Cana: A Handbook Reflection on Roman Catholic Marriage,” by Richard A.P. Martelles, examines the many facets of the modern marital union in brief, thoughtful chapters.
As the author admits in the book’s foreword, the book is not an academic study but the contemplations of a man whose own marriage fell apart after 18 years and three children. His marriage recovered after a “painful” two-year separation and his writing is “the fruit of that separation.”
Martelles calls his book as “a gentle counsel.” It is an accurate description — thoughts from one married person to another, delivered in a charitable and supportive voice.
He wrote the book to spur a similar reflection on the part of the reader. “What you hold in your hands is only half the book,” he tells the reader. “The other half is the experiences and understandings you bring to the words.”
To this end, the final chapter, “Questions for Self-Examination,” is more like a study guide reviewing each of the previous chapters with questions for the reader.
This is a layman’s view, but not a secular one. Psychological, sociological and cultural views on married life take a back seat to the religious perspective.
The 43 chapters have titles such as “Prayer,” “Grace,” “Devotion,” “Communication,” “Trust,” “Fear,” “Faith and Reason,” “The Marriage Bed,” “Friendship,” “Pleasure,” “Doubt,” “Anger,” “Rejection,” “In-Laws,” “Forgiveness” and “The Holy Eucharist.”
Each chapter can stand alone as a mini-retreat on a particular aspect of marital life, allowing the reader to jump from topic to topic without losing the continuity of the Martelles’ message, namely that the “state of marriage can become a doorway into a deep and genuine spirituality — into the Presence of God.”
“The dimensions of Christian marriage are rich with mystic delights and profound possibilities,” he says, “and God wants us to be spiritually healthy and prosperous in Him.”
“Yet,” he adds, “this glorious destiny is coupled with the complexity and myriad weaknesses of two uncertain and developing human beings.”
Although Martelles wrote this book in part for his children who suffered from his marriage’s temporary breakup, his primary focus is the relationship between the spouses and not their offspring. The general topic of children merits only one chapter.
The author’s lessons are delivered through the lens of personal experience, often yielding to the remedy of prayer and a surrender to God’s will. Martelles taps his 40 years of practice leading Bible study groups, illuminating his topics with a generous number of Scripture passages from the Old and New Testaments.
And although the book is under the authorship of Richard Martelles, the reader can sense the presence of his wife Gayle throughout.
The book’s title comes from Jesus’ first recorded miracle, turning water into wine to prevent embarrassment for a newlywed couple at their wedding reception in the town of Cana. Martelles uses the miracle as a metaphor for how Jesus can transform your marriage if you follow the instructions of his mother Mary: “Do what he tells you.”
“Offer him the ordinary water of your marriage — your problems and impatience, misunderstanding and disappointments,” Martelles writes, “and humbly behold the gradual miracle of His turning it into wine, rich in the gifts of love.”
For a marriage to be successful, it takes three, Martelles says: husband, wife and Jesus, who is both an example and, as in Cana, a collaborator.
“Keep your love pure, your heart and eye single. Then will your marriage be sustained in holiness and joy, imaging the love Christ has for his church. Learn to sacrifice for each other, and that image will surely form and shine,” he writes.
And again, “You must allow Christ to imbue your marriage with His love and power if you are to attain and sustain the virtues necessary to your marital vision.”
And, “Love your spouse as you love yourself and take the marriage of Christ to His Bride, the Church, as your example.”
A successful marriage needs God’s help, Martelles says.
“There are times in a marriage when only by God’s grace can husband and wife love each other,” he says.
This is his acknowledgement that, while human weakness dooms many marriages today, marriages can survive by relying on strength that comes from God.
“What God has joined together,” Martelles concludes, “he can keep together.”
It’s a message modern society sorely needs to hear.
“Fruits from Cana” is published by saint failures press, the author’s own company which he said is “dedicated to the everyday Roman Catholic, offering wholesome works which inspire Catholic faith, beliefs, and traditions.”
The book’s nihil obstat, the declaration that the book is free of doctrinal error, comes from Msgr. John Mbinda, the censor librorum of the Diocese of Honolulu. Bishop Larry Silva provided the imprimatur, or authorization that the book may be published.
Artist Bob Wagstaff did the cover art, a depiction of native honeycreeper birds in a Hawaiian rain forest, a favorite hiking destination for the author.
The Honolulu-born Martelles lives with his wife Gayle in upcountry Maui where they raise a variety of fruit trees.
