We watched “Gone with the Wind” the other night. It’s been years since I last saw it, and my response has changed dramatically. The central character is the spirited but selfish Scarlett O’Hara. Her gentle sister-in-law, Melanie Wilkes, serves as contrast. I used to fantasize about being Scarlett. Now, I want to be Melanie.
Melanie believes the best of people. Several people warn her to be wary of Scarlett. Melanie kindly but quickly cuts them off. Her generous heart requires considerable evidence before she disapproves of anyone. She treats everyone she meets with love and respect. Most respond by trying to live up to her good opinion. The choice to trust others makes Melanie’s world more trust-worthy.
Melanie’s example reminds me that we don’t follow Christ just because we hope to go to heaven. We follow him because his way gives us a richer and more joyful life right here and now. One aspect of that life is a willingness to trust God and others.
I’ve been thinking about trust lately because my neighborhood has recently suffered several burglaries. We have a neighborhood watch program, and we alert one another via email. Keeping our doors locked and being careful with door-to-door sales people seem like reasonable precautions. I worry, though, that these home defense measures may make us suspicious of all strangers. Hilo has always been a friendly town. I’d hate to see fear destroy our aloha. That loss would be harder to bear than cash or belongings.
Our new pope also raises the issue of trust. His security people want him to remain safe within the Apostolic Palace or in a closed, bulletproof car. However, Francis obviously loves people. He would hate being isolated from those he is called to serve. He knows that his position makes him a target for the disturbed, but he also knows that, “Perfect love casts out fear.” He has placed his physical safety in God’s hands.
And doesn’t that make his life a happier one? Because, ironically, the more we worry about being safe, the less safe we feel. Normal locks aren’t good enough; we need deadbolts. We sign up with an alarm service and wire our windows. We keep our car doors locked and hold our purses tight, even in church. At some point, though, we have to accept that no one is perfectly safe. We have to trust God to see us through any unexpected dangers.
Fear makes us angry, and cardiologists say anger can literally kill us. That makes sense. Angry people are always on alert, never relaxed, always seeing insults where none were intended. They’ve actually created a more dangerous world for themselves.
Fear leads to self-destructive sins like envy. We are perfectly happy with our TV until our neighbor gets the super-sized high-definition model. His affluence makes us feel poor, and that, in turn, makes us feel cheated. We get angry at our boss or “the system” that keeps these goodies from us. Our checkbook tells us when we’re broke, but we decide when we’re poor.
Fear can lead to addiction. We enjoy life’s peak moments so much that we worry they won’t return. So we seek them “out of season” through porn, drugs, alcohol or overspending. Fear makes us refuse to forgive, because they might do it again. Fear keeps us from asking for forgiveness, because we might look weak.
I don’t want to be afraid all the time. I want to live among friends and potential friends, not suspicious strangers. I want a peaceful mind and contented heart. I want to be Melanie.
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
