A few years ago, I broke my baby toe. I was taking off my jeans, and they were stuck around one ankle. So I gave a hard kick. The jeans came off, but my toe hit the wall. As I jumped around the room in pain, my mind added to my Book of Rules: “Always sit down to remove pants. Never stand near the wall.”
Which was dumb. Of course, we want to learn from our mistakes. However, this was an accident, and we can’t plan for those. No matter how careful we are, we will trip on the rug, drop a favorite vase or kick the wall. We’ll also be victims of other people’s accidents. Someone will back into us in the parking lot or put away the ketchup with a loose cap. We have less control over our safety and comfort than we like to admit.
While OSHA and other agencies urge us to prevent accidents, the medical community urges us to prevent disease. Their advice is worthwhile. Our bodies are a gift from God, and we should care for them as such. However, I quarrel with the word “prevention.” Diet and exercise can reduce our chances of a heart attack or diabetes, but the primary cause of both diseases is genetics. That we can’t control.
We don’t like the randomness of illness any more than we like accidents. When we hear that someone is seriously ill, we immediately look for causes. Nancy has cancer because she used to smoke. Mark has arthritis because he’s overweight. It’s especially important that the cause of someone else’s illness exempts us. Unlike the sufferer, we eat right. We exercise regularly. We’re safe.
In other words, we reassure ourselves by blaming the victim. When that doesn’t work, we blame God. He is punishing the sufferer for her sins. He sent sickness as a test or to demonstrate his power. Or, worst of all, “God needed another angel in heaven.”
Then we move from blaming God to trying to control Him. We promise to pray more, give away more money or publish his praises if only he will perform a miracle. We visit faith healers or seek the right saint. Sometimes the miracle occurs, but more often it doesn’t. Some of Christ’s best followers were killed by illness. Or the malice of others — yet another thing we can’t control.
Here we are in the Easter season, all white and gold and triumphant hymns. But remember how we got here. Even non-believers agree that Jesus was a great and good man. Yet in the end, the prayer that the Father answered was not, “Take this cup away” but, “Thy will be done.”
We Catholics are in a joyful mood. Not only is Lent over, but we have a new pope. In gratitude, many of us have resolved to do a better job of following our Lord and serving his church. Yet even here, much is out of our control. Our habits are against us, as is the world. How long after our morning prayers will we meet our first temptation? Reading the newspaper? Checking our email? Driving the kids to school? Our need for God’s grace is perpetual.
This is yet another truth we resist. We don’t like seeing ourselves as sinners. We don’t like depending on God every day, every minute. Yet to refuse this dependence is to refuse salvation. In the unexpected challenge, God is loving us. In the midst of suffering, God is loving us. In our sinfulness, God is loving us. The most effective precaution we can take in this life is to pray, “Into thy hands …”
Kathleen welcomes comments. Send them to Kathleen Choi, 1706 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo, HI 96720, or e-mail: kathchoi@hawaii.rr.com.
