The mystery of God
When I was a child I was attracted to the trappings of church. There were the stained glass windows and the life-sized crucifix that the old Italian ladies would go up to and while rubbing the toe of Jesus, bless themselves by. There was also the incense, and the darkness. These trappings of the interior of the church moved me to ponder the mystery of God.
I appreciate religious life a lot. Through it I have come to sense that there is something much larger than life as revealed through my reading of the Scriptures and in the beauty that surrounds. There are different forms of beauty — the beauty of nature, the beauty of people and the beauty found in friendships that have endured through the years. Just take a moment yourself to look up at a starlit sky at night or to admire the beauty of the earth. These are sacramentals that remind us that God is larger than life and that’s what mystery is about.
Sometimes retreats we offer for one reason or another don’t happen. They fall through due to a lack of people signing up. Yet, in entering into the mystery of God, I have become more aware of my weaknesses. I am a very weak person. It even takes a lot for me to get up there and give a homily on a Sunday. I believe I suffer from ADD (attention deficit disorder) as it is hard for me to focus as I’m distracted from the left to the right. But I have sensed God saying, “Go ahead anyway.” And I hear the same words when I prepare for retreats. Thus when I study, I study hard. I try to speak to the heart as well as to the mind.
How do I get over my doubts and gain more confidence? Rely on God. There’s not too much certainty on this side of life. But, by just putting oneself in God’s hands, in the mystery of God, one does feel certainty. Without a prayer life, whether we are religious, lay or priests, we are doomed. We need that connection with God. That will give us the certitude.
I enjoy spiritual reading. I have different books that through the years I have found meaningful. There are certain books that have moved me, because they call me beyond myself; they call me to greater awareness, and in some way, I am stretched. At one Mass, I quoted from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s “The Cost of Discipleship”: “When Christ calls someone, he bids them to come and die.” To die daily means to take up our cross and follow after Christ, splinters and all, whatever we get in our hands.
If we really deal with the cross, we will be transformed and will become more and more like him. I know there is a God who loves me and who is working in my life even though I may not be able to see the working. He is there. It’s all a part of the wondrous mystery of God.
Father David Lupo is a priest of the Congregation of the Sacred hearts of Jesus and Mary. Born in Schenectady, N.Y., he arrived in Hawaii last year. He has been 28 years professed as a religious, and 21 years ordained. He resides at Sacred Hearts Center, Kaneohe, and is engaged in retreat ministry.
