HCH photo by Darlene Dela Cruz
Far right, Joseph and Helen Vierra display their wedding photo in their Waimanalo home
Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a Catholic organization that promotes marriage enrichment through retreats and faith-based activities, sponsors an annual contest to find the longest-married couples in the United States.
The contest celebrates World Marriage Day, the second Sunday in February. A winner is selected nationally and for each state. This year’s couples will be honored later this month with a certificate of achievement.
Hawaii’s winning couple is Joseph and Helen Vierra of Waimanalo. The Vierras celebrated their 75th anniversary last August.
The Hawaii Catholic Herald visited the Vierras at their home on Jan. 25. The couple, along with their daughter Diane Medeiros, recalled the story of how their Catholic faith played a role in their relationship.
He was a Maui boy
Joseph and Helen first met in late 1935. He was born on Maui. She was born in the Philippines to Portuguese parents who were working in the country’s plantations.
Joseph eventually moved to Honolulu. Helen came to the Islands as a youth and lived at St. Anthony Orphanage in Kalihi Valley until she was 18. There, she helped the Sisters of the Sacred Hearts with various tasks, including the making of Communion hosts.
Helen later moved to her aunt’s home in Kaimuki. Joseph also lived in that area at the time. They met through one of Helen’s relatives, who was involved in church sports.
“Our parish was St. Patrick’s,” Joseph said. “We used to have a parish football team. One of her cousins was playing on my team. (He) said, ‘I got a cousin, you want to meet my cousin?’ I said, ‘I got nothing to lose.’“
“A week later, we met,” Joseph said. “I met her on 17th (Street) and Waialae Avenue.”
They began dating — he was 18 and she was 19. Joseph said they met every weekend and on Wednesdays. They would go for drives and take in shows at the landmark Queen Theatre in Kaimuki.
Joseph fondly recalled one date in particular, when he picked up Helen to go for a ride on a really rainy day. They were traveling up the Pali and then went down toward Honolulu.
“She was scared,” Joseph said. “The thing just poured. You couldn’t see. There was fog and everything. But we went through it.”
The couple was married on Aug. 28, 1937. It was, Joseph said with a laugh, “a very simple wedding.”
That year, Franklin D. Roosevelt was president and Bishop Stephen Alencastre was Hawaii’s bishop. Hawaii was not yet a state and not yet a diocese. It was the year the Hindenburg burned, the Golden Gate bridge opened and Amelia Earhart disappeared over the Pacific.
“We went to Mass at St. Elizabeth’s Church in Aiea,” he said. “We got married there in the morning, went up to her dad’s house and had breakfast. And then in the evening they came to my parents’ house and we had dinner. My mother made chicken stew.”
The Vierras went on to have four children: Yvonne, who was born in 1937; Joseph Jr. in 1941; Diane in 1944; and Angela in 1946. They raised a loving and active home in Waimanalo, where the family bonded over volleyball and baseball games in their yard. All of the kids, at one point or another, attended local Catholic schools.
Unfortunately, Yvonne died a few months before her parents celebrated their 75th anniversary.
Joseph and Helen have 14 grandchildren, 24 great-grandchildren, and two great-great grandchildren. Another great-great grandchild is on the way.
Thoughts on longevity
The Vierras are now in their mid-90s. These days, the sharp-witted and spry Joseph serves as a loyal caretaker to his wife, who was debilitated by a stroke in 1998 and is now suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease.
Despite Helen’s illness, the couple took time to celebrate their 75th anniversary last year in grand fashion. Family and friends gathered at the Hale Koa Hotel on Aug. 28, 2012, for a lively gala.
One of the local news stations had heard of the Vierras’ milestone celebration, and the event earned a brief spot on television. According to their daughter Diane, the family also wrote to Pope Benedict XVI, President Barack Obama and Gov. Neil Abercrombie about the anniversary. All sent back letters of congratulations to the Waimanalo couple.
When asked at the anniversary party about the “secret” to keeping a long-lasting marriage, Joseph kept his advice practical.
“When you get into an argument, all you do is turn around and walk away,” he said. “Walk out of the house or something, so you don’t keep arguing and arguing and get into a fight. That’s all.”
The Vierras’ example of faith and fidelity made an impact on their children. Daughter Diane said she always carries a rosary with her, because she remembers how her parents prayed the devotion with each other every night.
“I think what kept them together a lot is they were interested in the same things,” Diane said. “When they argued, they argued. But when they made that vow, it was a commitment.”
Diane also celebrated a marriage milestone, her 50th anniversary, in 2012.
The Vierras have a copy of their original wedding photo kept safe in a white frame. A lot has changed in 75 years for the young newlyweds in the picture, from their early days of courtship, to now having a legacy of love carried on by a growing family tree. One thing that hasn’t changed, however, is Joseph’s promise to take care of Helen, for better or for worse, even in the circumstances they face now.
“I had a doctor from Queens, he told me, ‘You know I think that she (Helen) should be in a home,’“ Joseph said. “I said, ‘Do you remember the vow you took when you got married? For sickness and health and all that stuff?’ I said, ‘Thank God that at least I’m capable of taking care (of her). She’s not going to go to the home.’“
“He (the doctor) never mentioned it again,” Joseph added.
